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Roll Call: No interparty marriages

Rocky Mountain News

Published February 5, 2009 at 12:05 a.m.

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VOTE LIBERTARIAN

At the request of a lobbyist, a renowned Capitol ghostwriter came up with two Top 10 lists on Why You Don't Want Your Daughter Marrying a Republican and, likewise, Why You Don't Want Your Daughter Marrying a Democrat.

The lists include:

REPUBLICANS

1 Seriously, who wants to hear Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA at a wedding?

2 Never any recording space left on TiVo because of all the Bill O'Reilly shows.

3 They'll be forced to buy crappy cars made in America.

DEMOCRATS

1 In all likelihood they will live their lives in abject poverty.

2 Only choices of reading material in their bathroom are Mother Jones, High Times or a dog-eared copy of The Audacity of Hope.

3 Good chance your grandkids will be godless vegetarians.

HEY, A GAVEL IS A GAVEL IS A . . .

"Yes, your honor. (Pause). I'm used to being in court."

Rep. Beth McCann, D-Denver, an attorney, who used the judicial salutation when answering a question from a colleague

GOLDMAN'S SOX INVESTORS

Some Senate staffers donned an earring and crazy socks Wednesday in honor of Senate secretary Karen Goldman's birthday.

She's known for her funky shoes and socks, and a hairstyle that covers one earring but shows off the other.

Asked how old she is, Goldman smiled and said, "One year older than last year."