NFL primer: Taking on the world

Aaron Lopez

Published September 3, 2008 at 6 p.m.

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The flub five

Since the NFL realigned its divisions in 2002, 27 of 32 teams have made at least one playoff appearance. The five teams hoping to join the parity party and their last playoff appearance:

Arizona: 1998

Buffalo: 1999

Detroit: 1999

Miami: 2001

Houston: Never

Numbers game

12 Consecutive seasons at least five teams have made the playoffs after missing the postseason in the previous year.

43.4 Average points scored in an NFL game last season, the highest average since 1983 (43.7).

50 consecutive seasons Pittsburgh Steelers defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau has spent in the NFL. LeBeau, 71, broke into the league as a rookie defensive back with the Detroit Lions in 1959.

He said it

"I'll do the highlights for the red states and Keith will do them for the blue states."

Dan Patrick, right, who will reunite with former ESPN co-anchor Keith Olbermann on NBC's Football Night in America.

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Like the Roman Empire and addicts of the board game Risk, the NFL appears intent on world domination.

Its teams practice espionage (hello, Patriots). Its coaches stalk the sidelines like ruthless dictators (paging Mr.Shanahan). Even the schedule is expanding beyond borders (regular-season games in London and Toronto).

Yet the opening of the NFL season remains purely an American obsession. Who else could stomach 24-hour coverage of the Brett Favre saga without setting one’s plasma TV on fire?

If Barack Obama and John McCain really want to win some swing votes, they will forget about offshore drilling and propose making today a national holiday. After all, tonight the defending Super Bowl champion New York Giants will play the Washington Redskins in the season opener.

The Giants earned the spotlight by spoiling New England’s bid for a perfect season, but Tom Brady & Co. figure to take center stage again in 2008.

The Patriots, cleared of any further illegal videotaping charges, have won 19 straight regular-season games and will try to become the first team in NFL history to reach 20 when they open the season at home Sunday against Kansas City.

As for Favre and the Green Bay Packers, they officially separated Aug. 6, when the scruffy gunslinger was traded to the New York Jets.

For many Packers fans, it was the end of the world as they know it. As for normally pessimistic Jets fans, they feel fine.

Let the quest for domination begin.

Giants, Redskins and Republicans, oh, my!

As the Republicans celebrate the official end of their nomination process, the NFL will celebrate the beginning of the 2008 season.

Thursday's opener between the New York Giants and the Washington Redskins normally would have started at 6:30 p.m. MDT but was moved to 5 p.m. because of the GOP convention.

Because the NFL is a national party unto itself, don't be surprised if ratings for NBC's national telecast of the Giants and Redskins are better than for McCain & Co.

Match the celebrity to their favorite team

Answers below

* Justin Timberlake: Could be a stockholder in NFL’s only publicly owned team.

* Jessica Alba: New mom probably won’t be buying baby any Broncos booties.

* George Clooney: Based on team of choice, appreciates a good crime story.

* Kate Mara: Brokeback Mountain actress actually a city slicker.

* Will Smith: Think Independence Day.

* Vince Vaughn: His movie The Break-Up was filmed in this city.

* Brad Paisley: John Elway broke this country crooner’s heart in 1987.

* Chad Michael Murray: One Tree Hill actor is used to runner-up finishes.

NFL season as it would look on prime-time TV

* Two and a Half Men: A behind the scenes look at how offensive coordinators prepare to slow down the 6-foot-6, 295-pound tornado that is Houston Texans defensive end Mario Williams.

* Lost: Cameras follow Brett Favre on a chaotic cab ride from Kennedy Airport to midtown Manhattan. Subsequent episodes track his attempts to get off the island.

* Moment of Truth: Patriots coach Bill Belichick sits down for a polygraph test and provides terse denials of illegally videotaping opponents. He does, though, admit to a secret obsession with Amy Winehouse.

* Gossip Girl: Jessica Simpson stars in this juicy tell-all, revealing formations and plays she has learned while dating Tony Romo.

* The Ex List: A reality show that follows the lives of former Miami Dolphins coaches axed by new vice president of football operations Bill Parcells.

Rules, they are a changin’: Actual change

* Defensive helmet radios now in operation.

* Incidental face-mask penalty eliminated.

* Coaches allowed to defer to second half after coin toss.

* Receivers no longer benefit from force-out rule.

Rules, they are a changin’: Changes we'd like to see

* Remote-controlled robot punters.

* Elimination of commercials after the post-touchdown kickoff.

* Coin toss replaced by pregame Madden competition between coaches.

* Receivers’ footwork judged by Dancing With The Stars panel.

Toughest schedules

	Opp. 2007 W-L	Vs. +.500 teams	Vs. Playoff teams
Pittsburgh	153-103	12	8
Indianapolis	152-104	12	8
Jacksonville	143-113	10	6
Baltimore	141-115	12	8
Minnesota	141-115	9	7

Weakest schedules

	Opp. 2007 W-L	Vs. +.500 teams	Vs. Playoff teams
New England	99-157	5	4
San Diego	108-148	4	4
Oakland	112-144	5	4
Broncos	114-142	6	5
New Orleans	115-141	6	5

More patsies for the Patriots

Get ready for another run at perfection. Or at least another conspiracy theory. Despite going 16-0 last season, the New England Patriots have the 32nd-ranked strength of schedule for 2008. New England’s opponents went a combined 99-157 (.387) last season and only five finished above .500. The weak schedule can be attributed primarily to the Patriots’ AFC East division opponents, who combined to go 12-36. At the other end of the spectrum, the Pittsburgh Steelers will play the toughest schedule on paper. Pittsburgh’s opponents went 153-103 (.598) last season, 12 finished above .500 and eight made the playoffs. The toughest five schedules and the weakest five are to the left.

Make a good first impression

Never underestimate the importance of Week 1. History shows teams that win their openers are more than twice as likely to make the playoffs than teams that don’t.

Since the NFL went to a 16-game schedule in 1978, 225 of the 476 teams winning their opener went on to the postseason compared with only 99 of the 476 teams that lost.

While running backs remain the lifeblood of a fantasy football team, quarterbacks stood tall in 2007. For the first time in NFL history, seven quarterbacks threw for at least 4,000 yards.

Celebrities favorite team answers

Justin Timberlake: Packers

Jessica Alba: Oakland Raiders

George Clooney: Cincinnati Bengals

Kate Mara: New York Giants

Will Smith: Philadelphia Eagles

Vince Vaughn: Chicago Bears

Brad Paisley: Cleveland Browns

Chad Michael Murray: Buffalo Bills

Airing it out

While running backs remain the lifeblood of a fantasy football team, quarterbacks stood tall in 2007. For the first time in NFL history, seven quarterbacks threw for at least 4,000 yards.

Player	Yards	TD	INT
Tom Brady, New England	4,806	50	8
Drew Brees, New Orleans	4,423	28	18
Tony Romo, Dallas	4,211	36	19
Brett Favre, Green Bay	4,155	28	15
Carson Palmer, Cincinnati	4,131	26	20
Jon Kitna, Detroit	4,068	18	20
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis	4,040	31	14