Mother's mission: Matthew Shepard's death changes things
By Jean Torkelson, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)
Published October 3, 2008 at 6:24 p.m.
Photo by Darin McGregor © The Rocky
Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, gets a hug from University of Wyoming president Tom Buchanan after the dedication of a memorial bench in her son's name.
Photo by Gina Van Hoof / Matthew Shepard Foundation
Matthew Shepard as an 18-year-old. The openly gay young man died when he was 21 after being brutally beaten on the outskirts of Laramie.
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The family rushed to the hospital to be with their dying child. He had been the victim of a savage crime, and the media were gathering outside. Doctors urged the family to comfort their comatose 21-year-old son with familiar things, in case he still had some lingering awareness.
So the room was filled with his favorite sunflowers and the music of John Fogerty and Elton John. His mother wore the French perfume he had given her at Christmas.
"We shut everything else out," the victim's mother recalled last week. "Our focus was Matt."
The focus is still Matt, though the crime happened 10 years ago. And far from shutting everything out, his mother, Judy Shepard, is leading a movement to ensure that her son's death has lasting impact.
The lethal beating of the openly gay Matthew Shepard on Oct. 7, 1998, in Laramie bore all the marks of a robbery that had morphed into a hate crime.
He was found at the outskirts of town, dying beside a stark, wind-battered fence. The fence itself became a potent symbol - almost as iconic as a logo - to underscore the crime's brutality.
Within days, Matthew Shepard's name was on its way to becoming synonymous with gay rights. His death would drive an artistic outpouring of books and dramatic renderings, most notably, The Laramie Project, a "docudrama" that became an award-winning stage hit and later a film, which opened the 2002 Sundance Film Festival.
For Judy Shepard, a former stay-at- home mom and schoolteacher, the death of her son turned her into a gay- rights activist and the executive director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, a nonprofit incorporated in Casper, which has an office at 16th Avenue and Lincoln Street in Denver.
Even as Matthew lay dying, "people started sending us money," she recalled during a lunch last week near the family's Casper home.
A foundation to promote gay rights education and legislation seemed the logical place to invest it - and a worthy place for the energy that follows outraged grief:
"This," she said, "is what happens when you p--- off somebody's mom."
'I knew Matthew was gay'
In college, where Judy and husband Dennis met, they both had many gay friends. They weren't perturbed that Matthew was gay.
"I knew Matthew was gay since he was 8," Judy said. "I'm not sure I know why I knew, but I just knew."
Today, the 56-year-old native of Wyoming still bears the porcelain features that resemble photos of her son. Reserved and cautious, she's so soft-spoken one must sometimes strain to hear her above the din of a restaurant. But underneath the polite gentility is a steely "don't mess with me" air.
When the foundation was still just an idea, Shepard wondered if she could make speeches about Matt: "What if I'm terrible at it, and they don't like me?"
Instead, she was good at it. Now she travels six months a year, speaking to groups that range from college audien ces to corporate diversity panels. In Washington, D.C., she's buttonholed politicians and testified at hearings. She tells Matt's story and promotes the full array of gay issues: hate crime legislation, tax and employee benefits, military acceptance, and same-sex marriage.
She's grown more angry with the years.
"In the beginning I was more emotional (speaking) about my family," she said. "Then I became more political, more strident. I'm angry that people are willfully ignorant. They know gay issues are out there. This is a civil rights issue. We should all be angry."
The Shepards' younger son, Logan, now in his late 20s, handles the foundation's communications. Matthew's father, Dennis, has returned to his job as a safety engineer for an oil company in Saudi Arabia. That's where the family of four lived for much of the 1990s.
Though her son's death sparked a movement, a big part of Judy Shepard's message is that he was hardly a saint.
"People call him a martyr, but I take exception to that," she said. "I've tried very hard to keep him real. It's unfair to make him larger than life. He had foibles. He made mistakes. He was not a perfect child by any means.
"When he was killed he was not on a victory march or a protest march or anything that you would consider fighting for gay rights. He was just living his life as a 21-year-old college student who smoked too much, drank too much and didn't study enough.
"He was a college kid trying to figure out his future."
He wasn't a perfect kid
It's unlikely Matthew kept his orientation a secret when he started talking with Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney at a Laramie nightspot called the Fireside Lounge.
What his killers saw was a 5-foot-2, 105-pound University of Wyoming college student - "My son was that big in the fifth grade," recalled Dave O'Malley, the retired police chief who was the crime's chief investigator.
Matthew's persona - well-off and approachable - likely set him up as an easy mark.
"He was always pulled together; his hair was always done - in Wyoming, most people don't take such care in their appearance because the wind is going to mess it up anyway," said Jim Osborn, a friend of Matthew's and a leader in the Laramie gay community.
"He would stop and check himself in the mirror before going out, . . . He was a very friendly person. He could strike up a conversation with a complete stranger."
That night, the strangers persuaded Matthew to leave the bar with them.
"You know, in nature there are animals that are predators who can pick out weaklings, and there are people like that, too, who can identify somebody as a victim," said Jeffrey Donnell, the judge who sentenced Henderson.
"I think there's good evidence it started as a robbery," Donnell said. "Why they picked on him as opposed to somebody else - maybe it was his sexuality; I don't know. It certainly wasn't hard, I understand, to pick up on."
Judy handles questions about the crime with equanimity.
"We will never know what happened that night," she said.
There's speculation the men lured him with the promise of a gay party or drugs: "I know he smoked maybe too much weed; beyond that, I have no idea."
Matthew's head was bashed in with the butt of a .357 magnum, the equivalent of a 3-pound hammer. He died about five days later. Each of the killers is serving two consecutive life sentences somewhere outside the overcrowded Wyoming prison system.
"I don't know where they are," Donnell said. "They sort of disappeared down the black hole of the Department of Corrections."
Matthew, meanwhile, has grown larger than life. Part of the reason, Osborn suggested, is that in Matt, "people saw the boy next door or their grandson or the neighbor down the street."
'Stay safe,' Mom said
Matthew grew up in Casper, about 160 miles from Laramie. By the age of 12, he was acting in community college plays. By high school, he was going by the nickname "Mateo."
When he was a high school junior, his parents, both school teachers, showed their bent as adventurers by moving the family to Saudi Arabia. Matthew spent the summer there and then went to a boarding school in Switzerland, impressing his family with his facility for languages, particularly German.
While she suspected the truth, Judy wanted Matthew to come out to the family about his sexuality when he felt the time was right.
"There was just something that was different than most of his other friends. I've joked that he dressed as Dolly Parton for three Halloweens in a row. Maybe that had something to do with it? Then again, I might be falling into a stereotype. I don't know."
When Matthew finally told his mother during a middle-of-the-night phone call at age 18, she replied, " 'What took you so long?' I told him we loved him, and we were there to support him, and that it made no difference in our family relationships. I told him to stay safe and watch out for his surroundings."
She accepts that Matthew failed to heed her warnings to always practice safe sex. "He didn't really do that," she conceded. After Matthew's death, the family found among his papers the results of his most recent HIV test - a test he had taken every six months.
The July test was negative, his mother said. But a test taken as he lay dying revealed he had just recently turned HIV positive.
"We don't think he knew," she said.
Close in spirit
Dedicated as she is to her son's cause, Judy makes plenty of time for herself. For six months of the year she retreats to the family home in Casper, where she's a moviegoer and a fan of TV crime dramas. She takes care of the pet cats and belongs to a group of Mahjong players. When Dennis returns from his career stint in Saudi Arabia, the couple plan to retire in Casper.
In 10 years, Judy Shepard's greatest fear never materialized - that in death, Matthew would be vilified and victimized all over again.
"It went the other way," she said. Last weekend, a bench was dedicated in his honor in a quiet spot on the campus of the University of Wyoming. In Casper, a downtown United Methodist church has dedicated a "Ring of Peace" memorial.
Matthew's body was cremated. The family planned to scatter his ashes, but could never decide where.
Judy Shepard hesitated.
"Actually - don't print this - well, I guess its OK to print," she said. "Matt's in a bank in a safety deposit box. We think he's very happy there. He had a wonderful sense of humor. I think he would find it most amusing, actually, that he was in a bank."
She doesn't need to go to the bank to stay close.
"I talk to him every day," she said. "Whenever I reach a crisis or a tipping point, some decision to make, it's like, 'OK, Matt, what do I need to do here?' I'm not sure I really hear an answer, but it helps me feel better. I'm talking to myself, probably, but it feels good to do that."
Matthew Shepard Foundation
* Main office: Casper
* Denver office: 1580 Lincoln St.
* Online: Matthew shepard.org
* Foundation priorities: Speaking engagements by Judy Shepard and others; passage of gay-equality legislation, including a federal hate crimes bill it calls the "Matthew Shepard Act;" and a national forum for gay youths, called the Youth First Initiative, which includes access to scholarships.
* Fundraising: It also sells items such as jewelry, T-shirts, posters, books and toys promoting the theme "Erase Hate." In 2005-06 - the most recent years for which IRS figures are available - the nonprofit took in $598,600 during that period, mostly in donations and grants.
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October 3, 2008
7:16 p.m.
TankerDan writes:
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
October 3, 2008
7:24 p.m.
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smith writes:
>>the executive director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, a nonprofit incorporated in Casper, which has an office at 15th and Lincoln streets in Denver.
um.. 15th and Lincoln don't intersect. If they did though, they would intersect than two blocks from the RMN hq at Colfax and Broadway. Sheesh
October 3, 2008
7:54 p.m.
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Jason writes:
What did this guy do for the betterment of society? I must be missing something, because this doesn't seem newsworthy.
October 3, 2008
8:21 p.m.
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Uno writes:
Since Matthew's death some 160,000 people was murdered in the US. For various reasons some remembered and most not, in the media. I guess one's sexual orientation elevates one above the rest. If a father of 2 gets killed at an ATM machine for $20, that hardly gets mentioned in the next days news, let alone songs written about it. I wonder how many people will remember 13 year old Jesse Dirkhising on his 10th anniversary?
October 3, 2008
8:41 p.m.
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FOCOmomof3 writes:
Okay, I have never blogged or left comments before but, I cannot believe that some of you don't get it. Stories touch people in different ways. At 21 if you die and do not "better the community" should you be forgotten? No, this mom is making sure that her son's life is not forgotten. It was a senseless crime. He's 21 and the story clearly says by his mom that he was typical. Understudied, over used alcohol and drugs and unsafe sex etc.
Ofcourse many people die daily, but, just like obituaries say survived by...mom, friend so on and so on..It's up to who cares about you when you die to keep your memory alive or to let you rest in peace. Don't be so silly people.. This is just a mom..who has a son who died for whatever reason. They determined they don't really know why. Matthew was gay and his mom felt like he had a fight to fight living as a gay man. Since he didn't get to fight it..she is!! It keeps Matts spirit alive for her.
Same with Americas most wanted host" his daughter was killed in Petaluma and he has turned to helping america put creeps behind bars. He speaks for hundreds of people daily. Start doing your part in keeping good people alive and bad people where they belong.
I think we need more stories like this. Thank you so much for sharing it with me!
October 3, 2008
9:02 p.m.
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Uno writes:
titancain, once again you misinterpret on purpose what was said. I'm against all murder equally. You're only against the murder of gays. That's a gay liberal for you.
October 3, 2008
9:15 p.m.
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FOCOmomof3 writes:
BTW UNO... You just kept him alive by mentioning him. I googled him and read his story. Jesse Dirkhising. God Bless him. You see why his story is forgotten. He is not remembered by many people who had his best interests in mind.I am sure you'll agree that his mom wasn't an advocate for his life while he was alive so why would she be when he is dead? =( That makes me so sad..
October 3, 2008
9:25 p.m.
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Francesca writes:
Uno, that was a great post @ 8:21. Ditto momof3.
October 3, 2008
10 p.m.
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happymike44 writes:
This young man's mother is helping to keep what happened to her son from happening to others.
Ever wonder how brave it was for those idiots to tie up a helpless defenseless person and beat him to death.
They tied him to that fence post as a reminder of what we do to people we do not want in our society.
We should all worry that this can happen to any one of us gay or straight.
Those Wyoming boys wanted to rob and kill someone just for sport.
I did not meet or know this young man but I do understand how his mother feels.
This is a brave woman and we should admire the strengh and dignity she shows by helping others.
May he rest in peace and know he is truly missed and respected for his sacriice.
He never wanted to be a hero and yet he is one.
He showed dignity aand bravery in the face of evil.
We could all take a lesson in what a hero is from this young man.
October 3, 2008
10:27 p.m.
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Thetrainer090 writes:
Americas Most Wanted host had a son killed in Florida
October 3, 2008
11:19 p.m.
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INC writes:
goldenratio, Uno,
Mathews Death exposed the hate still prevalent in our society. Exposed those people, whom harbor such vicious hate for someone merely perceived to be gay. as to tie up and torture them close to death. leaving the victim exposed to the elements tied to a fence unable to seek help. to die as slowly as possible.
In short, Mathews death exposed ignorant, hateful people our society can do without. (neo-conservative republicans)
October 4, 2008
2:39 a.m.
Jason writes:
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
October 4, 2008
3:41 a.m.
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FrictionSoul writes:
goldenratio
He didn't. His family does. Learn to read.
October 4, 2008
7:33 a.m.
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Michael writes:
"Once again the rightwing does not object to a gay person being murdered." - titancain
Wrong. What we object to is elevating anyone above any other - as others here have pointed out. Many are murdered everyday for a lot of reasons. Christians are slaughtered all over the globe because of their beliefs. That hasn't stopped in 2000 years. Jews too - for much longer. What we also object to is the selective way that people (mainly on the left) will pick and choose the victims they deem worthy of being elevated above others because it furthers the political agenda of the left wing. Matthew Shepard is being used as clearly as Cindy Sheehan was because of her son Casey's death in the Iraq War. The left cares nothing (or very little) for the victim, just what their death can do for the greater cause.
October 4, 2008
9:03 a.m.
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LuvAmerica writes:
goldenratio writes:
"Still, the question, what has Matt Shepard done to better society?"
Well, the story is about his mom and the good work to better the world she is engaged in. So if you are asking "Did Matthew die in vain?", I guess you will be comforted to know from this story that he did not. Even his mom's efforts aside, I'd observe that as a person, Matthew didn't spread hate, which is a quality that seems increasingly rare in America these days. Being a good person makes society better, don't you think?
"I could rewind time back to '98 and see the depravity that faces voters. Has anyone been educated to see what depravity touches each of us (even us white folk?)."
Not quite sure what you are talking about here, especially the white folk reference, but note how Matthew's mom has dedicated her life to trying to reduce the amount of hatred in the world.
"Matt surely would have voted Obama."
Not sure what your point is, but indulging your tangent for a moment: as the subject of endless hatred and scorn for the supposed sin of being "gay" he probably would have found the Christ-like behavior practiced by the Democrats to be more inviting than the hypocrisy of "compassionate conservatism" spewed by the Republicans.
"That cancels out any queer in your family. (period)."
Okay, now you've totally lost us.
October 4, 2008
9:11 a.m.
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Uno writes:
Well said Michael.
October 4, 2008
9:40 a.m.
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Michael writes:
"He never wanted to be a hero and yet he is one."
"We could all take a lesson in what a hero is from this young man."
both from happymike44 refering to Matt Shepard
I will have to respectfully disagree with these 2 assertions. Matt Shepard was a victim of a tragic, violent, and senseless act of bigotry motivated violence. He was not a hero. He neither chose to risk his life or give his life in the defense of others or in a cause greater than himself. We demean and dilute the true meaning of the word "hero" when we assign it to anyone we might have pity for or has died senselessly, as did Matt Shepard. God bless Matt and God damn his murderers but please let us not assign to Matt a status equal to those that truly earn the word "hero" to be assigned to them through their voluntary actions in life.
October 4, 2008
9:40 a.m.
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Confusedone writes:
The Matthew Shepard would have voted for Obama comment scares the crap out of me. What does that have to do anything?
October 4, 2008
9:44 a.m.
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Confusedone writes:
Oh and Uno,
Did Jesse Dirkhising die from a hate-crime? Cause if not, shut the !@#$ up!
October 4, 2008
9:51 a.m.
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HolierThanThou writes:
Matthew Shepard was murdered for who he was because he was queer. That bothers Americans who have read history because when you tolerate murdering anyone for who they are then genocide usually happens later on.
Ordinarily, his murder would not have garnered that much attention outside the local community. His family gave him a funeral and his murderers were tried and sentenced. But Fred Phelps and the conservatives started complaining loudly that Matthew Shepard's murder was getting too much attention. So, they showed up and protested, nearly causing a riot.
So, there's the fun part. They don't like hate crimes getting so much attention so they pick a fight and make a hue and cry heard round the world when one happens.
October 4, 2008
10:16 a.m.
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Michael writes:
Fred Phelps is NOT a conservative. I am a conservative. Chief Justice John Roberts is a conservative. William F. Buckley was a conservative. Fred Phelps is a lunatic fringe (right-wing variety) moron and represents mainstream conservatism about as much as ELF, ALF, AIM, Weathermen (60's), SDS (60's), Black Panthers, etc. or any of the lunatic fringe morons (left-wing variety) represents mainstream liberals.
October 4, 2008
10:18 a.m.
Uno writes:
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
October 4, 2008
10:26 a.m.
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HolierThanThou writes:
Fred Phelps and his followers are every bit as conservative as James Dobson and his Focus on the Family. Just ask them!
If you work hard enough at being unreasonable and wrecking the lives of your fellow Americans by spreading bigotry and putting the kibosh on every worthwhile improvement in the social compact then rest assured that they will welcome you back, Michael.
October 4, 2008
10:31 a.m.
Michael writes:
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
October 4, 2008
11 a.m.
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georgia writes:
fred phelps is only human in the aspect that he has some dna genetic material and that he uses oxygen. a conservative he is not. to compare him to James Dobson is a beyond-belief stretch of imagination.
one of these days fred will go back to dust from whence he came.
I just pray that he takes his so-called congregation with him at that time.
I feel for Matthew's mom, and I also pray that God is walking with her in her loss and grief. I would not even want to think of the pain of losing a son or daughter to violence.
October 4, 2008
11 a.m.
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jay writes:
i never thought that some of our right wing regulars would be unintelligent enough to comprehend the special circumstances surrounding hate crime murders.
it's either ignorance or willful ignorance.
uno, care to share your thoughts?
October 4, 2008
11:32 a.m.
H20 writes:
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
October 4, 2008
11:39 a.m.
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H20 writes:
"God bless Matt and God damn his murderers but please let us not assign to Matt a status equal to those that truly earn the word "hero" to be assigned to them through their voluntary actions in life."
Michael who are you to define "hero" in ones eyes. Maybe the kid was a "hero" in his mothers eyes. You can't take that away from her.
October 4, 2008
12:03 p.m.
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WHATRIGHTS writes:
H2O read the article, his Mother states outright "it's unfair to make him larger than life....then goes on to state he drank to much, smoked too much (including marijuana)...made mistakes and was not the perfect kid by any means....
Not that he is not a hero in his mothers eyes, he definately motivates her and gives her strength, but really she is the hero in this, as she took a terrible tradegy and turned it into a fight for others to bring awareness. Kudos to her, like mothers against drunk drivers.....
October 4, 2008
1:20 p.m.
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HolierThanThou writes:
Fred Phelps is just a louder version of James Dobson. They both shroud themselves in Christianity. They both preach that queers are all going to Hell and that their followers should convert them and us. Murder and genocide is just conversion when frustrated.
I remember the interview with Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell saying how the attacks on 9-11-2001 were God's judgment against America for tolerating queers. Fred Phelps still likes to show up at the funerals of Americans killed fighting for oil and tell their families how they're going to Hell for following the orders of the Commander-in-Chief.
I make comparisons between actual conservative Christians because they're appropriate. They all take to scaring the peanut gallery by claiming to have some connection to a vengeful God who wants to punish us Americans for our sins. Their Gods' punishments are often reserved for those of us who call their preachings hogwash.
America was attacked on 9-11-2001 because murderous religious fanatics of the Muslim world don't like us sticking our noses in their business. That wasn't a very good strategic move on their part. The fact remains that liberal and reasonable Muslims are horrified by the terrorism of the conservative Muslims, so there's a common thread here.
Matt Shepard was murdered for being queer. Conservative Christians all foment hate against queers because, if they're not actually preaching murder, they're making apologetics for their co-religionists who are. Conservative Christians also foment hate and fear of other religions. Muslims come immediately to mind. So, it's not really religion that's the problem but religion that's been poisoned by conservatism.
No soldier who dies fighting for the King is going to Hell for that. It is the King who must answer for the blood as the soldier was merely doing his duty. No reasonable person would ever go out of his or her way to disturb the funeral of a soldier, no matter how vain or sad or unjustified the cause may be for his untimely demise in battle. Only a conservative Christian like Fred Phelps and ilk would do such a thing.
And our nation is going to Hell in a handcart because we bought a load of hooey from the conservatives, not because God doesn't like us anymore. We're sinking in debt because conservatives don't want to tax the rich or question the powers of the wealthy elite who've been offshoring jobs. Conservatives make initiatives like Amendment 47 to strip workers of their power to organize. Conservatives won't even hear people's demands for accountability as they hand over hundreds of billions of tax money to the wealthiest corporations in America to cover for their screw-ups.
It's all conservatism, a social disease afflicting millions of Americans and blinding them to the real causes behind our downfall as a country.
October 4, 2008
1:43 p.m.
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Jason writes:
Thanks LuvAmerica, I had forgotten what my post was. Why was my post removed? RMN mail boy?
October 4, 2008
2:22 p.m.
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Reason writes:
"It's all PARTISANSHIP, a social disease afflicting millions of Americans and blinding them to the real causes behind our downfall as a country."
Fixed that for you. What a tool you must be to actually believe the drivel you just wrote.
October 4, 2008
2:54 p.m.
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Jason writes:
HolierThanThou, you're the most unintelligent poster this user has seen in 9 years posting on message boards.
Go get your GED, then you can observe the rest.
Absorb content that can shape an understanding. Accept the fact of being inferior, you trainable.
October 4, 2008
2:57 p.m.
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georgia writes:
no, fred phelps is not a louder version of James Dobson.
fred shrouds himself in himself and hate.
James Dobson shrouds himself in Christ and love and forgiveness.
and no, you are not holier than thou or anybody else.
all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
you have your repentance to do, just like the rest of us.
October 4, 2008
5:06 p.m.
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Uno writes:
jay, I've shared my thoughts above, well...whatever is left of it. Too bad the left thinks only hate crime should be punished...or at least hate crime against whatever group is on the left's protected people list, as evident in the posts above.
October 4, 2008
5:33 p.m.
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Francesca writes:
"It's all PARTISANSHIP, a social disease afflicting millions of Americans and blinding them to the real causes behind our downfall as a country."
I like that version better.
October 4, 2008
6:16 p.m.
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CAZephyr writes:
While I'm sympathetic to the Shepard family's pain, this wasn't any different from many other murders - just a couple of trashy thugs saw an opportunity to rob and kill someone who was probably impaired due to overimbibing. Sadly, it happens every day. If Matthew Shepard hadn't stumbled into their orbit, it could just as easily have been an impaired woman or a heterosexual man draped across that fence. The Shepards may feel better by making their son into a gay martyr but it doesn't mean he was one. I'd respect them a lot more if they focused on all victims of violent crime rather than a small subset of perceived victims.
October 4, 2008
11:01 p.m.
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LuvAmerica writes:
goldenratio writes:
"Thanks LuvAmerica, I had forgotten what my post was. Why was my post removed? RMN mail boy?"
It was pretty forgettable. Probably removed because of the thinly veiled hatred, racism, and bigotry hidden behind an aura of innocence. Mail boy won't stand for that.
October 5, 2008
2:08 a.m.
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Jason writes:
Listen, LuvAmerica, I think I love you. You exhibit skills capable of producing prose polished to shine.
Matt seemed to be a rather selfish person. Disregarding his mother while pursuing a propensity of seeking mind alterations and deviant acts. The world is a blessed place. It was made such, by generations of right minds. Minds that think alike. Ones that do not stray from the focus. It is the whole that is supreme, not an individual. Memories are, in fact, weak.
Anyway, Go Dodgers!
October 5, 2008
7:49 a.m.
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masonp77 writes:
i'm gay and i don't like hate crimes legislation. don't like it. don't like the government being able to say that a crime (especially one of murder) is somehow more heinous because of the thought behind it. what? isn't that applicable to all murder, to all rape, to all child abuse?
as for judy shepherd i have met her, and her message has been lost here. it isn't that crimes against gay men and lesbians should have stiffer sentences. bringing to light matthew's story doesn't make him a saint, it makes him human. she's out there trying to change people's attitudes about gay/lesbian people. there are attacks on people for that very reason. just as there were lynchings, and probably still are, in the south simply because a person was black. to devalue that by saying all sorts of people die everyday misses the point. i take it there are none who have posted here who would kill me simply for who i am, and that's good, but getting the message out that hate is hate and that we as a people shouldn't tolerate it is the message i hear when i hear judy speak.
October 12, 2008
2:21 p.m.
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SillyWilly writes:
Golden ratio--the message that is attempting to be spread is to wipe out ignorance when it comes to hate and prejudice. Enough said in regards to ignorance.
October 12, 2008
2:24 p.m.
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stopntrafic writes:
I live in the south yes hate crimes happen here far to often, I understand what Matthew's mother is feeling totally, I was raised in Chicago in the 70s and early 80s my life long friend whom I knew from birth was gay, like Matthews mother I knew before he came out but so did many others and the pain some put him through I can not find words to express! I am talking when he was 10 years old high school kids pushing him, making fun of him, one comment I recall and we are talking 37 years have passed ! I will not repeat the comment but it will be in my head most likely till my death and I can not stand that! I read this info on Matthew and I see so much of what Danny went through and I agree something has got to change and with out someone speaking out how will it change! I am talking just in my life time we are seeing 40 years of hate of people whom have every right to choose what sex they prefer to be with! 40 years is a day too long!!! you do not have to be perfect to be someones hero, Danny is my hero and he was one screwed up kid, he was not screwed up cuz he was gay it was something else entirely. But to Matthews family keep up the good work, I have added Matthew to my prayers and your family too, I think if you help one person understand to hate someone just because they are different well you did a wonderful job then!
October 13, 2008
12:42 p.m.
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JB writes:
The inane banter on this thread makes me sick. Honestly sick. What happened to Matt is 100% unacceptable in this country, the pain he endured and the way he died unfathomable. He was 5'2" and 105 pounds soaking wet. He was pistol whipped to the point of having 7 scull fractures and severe brain stem damage, then lashed, hands behing his back, to a fence all night in the cold October night.
This torture was perpatrated on him by two guys, much larger than him. The planned to rob a gay man that night and teach him a lesson... they found Matt. He was targeted and crucified simply for being gay. That is a hate crime, plain and simple.
I don't think Matthew ever wanted to be a hero, nor do I think he necessarily is -- he was a victim of a ruthless hate crime. But, in death he has inspired countless people to become heros, inspired people to stand up and say that we cannot stand for this. Inspired people to look beyond preconcieved ideas and to do away with bigotry. He has been the rallying cry for untold scores of people to fight like hell so that we don't see another Matt Shepard in the news... and yes, that does count for something.
Judy is a saint. Her passion and dedication has changed so many lives, inspired so many people. Thank you Judy and you have been in a lot of our thoughts this last week.