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LINCICOME: Orderly? Sports are anything but

By Bernie Lincicome, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published November 13, 2008 at 9:34 p.m.

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Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall avoided a fine after avoiding an end zone.

Photo by Chris Schneider / The Rocky

Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall avoided a fine after avoiding an end zone.

Right wing Marek Svatos is doing his part for the Avalanche.

Photo by Streeter Lecka © Getty Images

Right wing Marek Svatos is doing his part for the Avalanche.

stuntCU coach Dan Hawkins isn't piling up the results too fast.

Photo by David Zalubowski © Associated Press

stuntCU coach Dan Hawkins isn't piling up the results too fast.

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Some things you suspect, some things you guess at and some things you just know.

Brandon Marshall's curtailed end zone stunt in Cleveland was more about Marshall showing off than it was about change in America.

Seattle coach Mike Holmgren thought about making a similar statement to his team but changed his mind. "I want them to think about how to get a first down," he said.

Priorities.

With his new sensible hair, Carmelo Anthony will be unrecognizable in his next mug shot.

Hard to tell if Chauncey Billups' promise to Nuggets fans is as more wishy than washy: "I'm committed to trying to lead this team to a championship caliber," Billups said. Talk about hedging your bets.

Since Billups arrived, J.R. Smith has become the designated sitter.

Finding John Daly in a drunken stupor outside Hooters is not a news flash, it's a standing headline.

What Sarah Palin, hockey mom, has done for hockey is exactly what she did for John McCain.

Don Baylor back with the Rockies would be handy if Clint Hurdle suddenly ran out of rope, which is how Hurdle got the job, after all.

CU coach Dan Hawkins' contract extension through 2012 gives him time to catch Gary Barnett; he will have to win only nine games each year to do it. He might start with finally having a winning season.

With the incentives in Hawkins' new contract, he is going to leave at least $550,000 on the table. Poof, it's gone, just like my 401(k).

It is what it is; ah, if only it was what we make it.

The fact the Broncos have four running backs on injured reserve is not likely to get much sympathy in New England (where the Broncos lost by 34). The Pats have lost five runners plus the best quarterback in football.

Still, when you have to reach into the mobile phone store at the mall for your next back (Tatum Bell), aggravation looks a whole lot like desperation.

And, speaking of that, maybe the Broncos ought to change their ring tone to Candle in the Wind.

Not to drop any hints, but the team the Broncos play next, the Atlanta Falcons, is doing surprisingly well with a rookie GM, a rookie coach and a rookie quarterback, so starting over is not necessarily a bad thing.

Just call the Rockies a doughnut team; you know, with a big hole in the middle (of the batting order).

President-elect Barack Obama's reputation as an elitist crumbles under the admission that he is a White Sox fan, and there is no truth to the rumor he is going to change the name to White Sox House; nah, nah, hey, hey, hello.

Because of current "economic challenges," the NFL is reducing its playoff ticket prices by 10 percent. What that means in real money is $109 instead of $121, last year's average price. Challenge me this: A Super Bowl ticket is $1,000 for the game in Tampa.

On the other hand, to meet the new economy, the NBA laid off 80 workers, the total salary of which would not match Kenyon Martin's for a month. Maybe a week. Maybe a quarter.

Never go to a movie with "kill" in the title, unless it also has the word "mockingbird."

There is a Las Vegas rule between the press and the NFL that what happens there stays there, that locker room personal items are off-limits, except, of course, for Mike Singletary's buttocks.

How to end up with a million dollars; start with a billion.

I said it then, I've said it since, I'll say it again: Clinton Portis for Champ Bailey was a bad trade for the Broncos.

Charlie Manuel of the Phillies probably thinks Lou Piniella was NL Manager of the Year, too. But Manuel was.

Even though Tim Lincecum has won the Cy Young, I am not changing the spelling of my name.

Notre Dame can still be proud of its library.

Talk about overpaid, at several million per year, Charlie Weis is not the worst Notre Dame coach since Gerry Faust . . . oh, wait. Yes, he is.

Whoever wins the Heisman Trophy still will not be a first-round draft choice.

For those keeping score at home, it was Marek Svatos who scored the tying goal against Vancouver, not Paul Stastny, and for those standing on your head, the Avs are in first place, not last.

Checking through airport security and waiting for your things to come through the other end is as orderly as Lucy Ricardo at the fudge factory.

Comments

  • November 14, 2008

    9:54 a.m.

    Suggest removal

    BoNaFiDe writes:

    I would like Lincicome to explain to me how the Champ for Portis trade was bad for the Broncos. We gave up an expendable, injury prone RB with diva-like tendancies for arguably the best shut-down corner in the league, who is also a locker room leader and a great representative to the community. Since the trade, the Broncos have only had one season without a 1,000 yard rusher. The Broncos backs have more rushing yards than Portis since the trade also. Granted, the Broncos did start using a committee running approach so the stats might seem skewed, as the Broncos have 2 backs with good numbers vs. the Skins 1. However, if you take only the Broncos highest rusher they still have more yardage than Portis. Don't tell me its because the Skins pass more, considering their QB situation before Campbell came about.

    All that goes to show that we don't need Portis to be able to run the ball, but tell me, as bad as the Broncos D is now, how bad would they be if Champ wasn't on the field and in the locker room?