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WINTER: How to explain Mommy's makeover?

By Mary Winter, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published May 23, 2008 at 3 p.m.
Updated May 23, 2008 at 6:03 p.m.

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Everyone knows a pregnant woman is beautiful. Her skin glows. Her eyes sparkle. Her hair shines. And if she goes through food like a bear after hibernation, well, what the heck. She's eating for two!

But then a curious thing happens.

Mom performs the miracle of birth, and 24 hours later, lo and behold, she starts looking like crap.

Before you know it, her breasts lose a bit of their bounce, her tummy sags and, thanks to stretch marks, her days in a bikini are history.

That's the sad script. In 2008, the standard of beauty for a woman dictates a full bustline, a taut stomach and nary a hint of cellulite - thank you, Britney Spears.

What's a postpartum mom to do?

If she has $10,000 to $30,000, she goes to her local plastic surgeon for a "mommy makeover."

The package deal typically includes a tummy tuck, breast augmentation, liposuction and/or a nose bob or reshaping. It's the hottest thing since microwave popcorn, and if you have any doubt, Google "mommy makeover" and "Denver" and you'll come up with the names of at least a dozen plastic surgeons who offer it here.

But what about your kids? Won't it traumatize them to see Mommy sore and bandaged up and out of commission for a couple of weeks? Well, one thoughtful surgeon in Florida has solved that issue. Last month, Dr. Michael Salzhauer released My Beautiful Mommy, a book for children 4 to 7 that helps explain why Mommy's plastic surgery is going to make her even more beautiful than she already is.

Skeptics, including me, will say My Beautiful Mommy is most likely a marketing tool for the mommy-makeover industry, propaganda intended to convince women that everyone is having cosmetic surgery. Should a woman feel conflict or guilt surrounding the decision to have surgery, here's just the book to banish it by thoughtfully preparing your kids and legitimizing your choice.

Now, some of us old hides have to ask: Why even involve the kids? What's wrong with how we used to do it, when those who opted for surgery simply disappeared for a month to "go help Aunt Millie"?

My Beautiful Mommy has been featured in media from Newsweek to Salon.com to NPR, and it's kicked up lively discussions on Web sites and TV shows such as The View. They reveal many things, including the generation gap between attitudes about cosmetic surgery.

For many baby boomers, plastic surgery still carries a stigma. It marks a woman as vain and selfish, so if you're going to go under the knife, for God's sakes use a little discretion. After your surgery, should someone compliment you on how rested you look, your only response should be: "Amazing what a month off work will do for a woman!"

Baby boomers were brought up to think of cosmetic surgery as an indulgence, a source of shame. They feel guilty about the wad they're dropping to make themselves look marginally better for the few years they have left, and many are never quite able to shake the thought that a whole village somewhere could have straight teeth for what they spent getting their fat vacuumed.

The voices of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem also still speak: Women will never enjoy the same rights as men until they themselves quit buying into the beauty myth - that appearance defines a woman.

Of course, that's horse-and-buggy talk.

In today's 24/7 digital/confessional age, the list of topics on our daughters' taboo list is shrinking fast. The shroud of silence has lifted on sexual experiences, face- lifts, abortions, and mental and medical health issues.

Many argue that openness and honesty around such subjects is emotionally healthy and liberating. And in the case of cosmetic surgery, they say, looking your best is a survival issue in today's dog-eat- dog global market, so why be coy?

They may be right. All I know is that too many little girls still think self-confidence and happiness come from bottles at the cosmetics counter.

Mommy makeovers, in other words, can be dangerous in the wrong hands.

On the other hand, consider your source - she's so old she actually exercised to get rid of her post-baby body. In front of a Jane Fonda video, if you can believe that.

mwinte@aol.com

Comments

  • May 24, 2008

    6:17 a.m.

    Suggest removal

    JimmyTheSaint writes:

    Yeah, that book is nauseating. Is it any wonder that so many women (and men, it's definitely not a gender-specific issue) have self-esteem issues? I think a book explaining that these changes (along with other changes, such as aging, etc.) are normal for humans would be much more beneficial than creating this culture that thinks plastic surgery is just typical.

    It's as vile as using Joe Camel to hook kids on cigarettes. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

  • May 24, 2008

    2:19 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    Classof65 writes:

    I'm way past the mommy makeover time -- my kids are 40 and 28 -- but I'd love to have a makeover. I'm amazed every time I look in the mirror and see my grandmother... I don't mind the grey hair, it's the wrinkles and bags and sags that depress me. I was never a raving beauty, but I was pleasant looking. Now my jowls make me look as though I'm scowling all the time, even though I am not scowling inside...

  • May 26, 2008

    3:34 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    me2 writes:

    Oh for Heavens sake, we make everything so complicated. Have the make over, tell the kids you fell in the rose bushes, and dump that stupid book.

    Imagine the nursing homes of the future with all the plastic parts slipping down in the pecs, ankles, etc. What a sight. Dr`s will be busy removing the implants, like the ones that remove tattoos.