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PEARSON: The mother of all role models

By Mike Pearson, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published May 7, 2008 at 7:06 p.m.

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Forget Big Brother (surveillance cameras on street corners and in malls).

Television must be considered Big Mother: It comforts us, coddles us, lectures us and - yes - infuriates us. Turn it on, and it'll fill an empty room with its presence.

The only thing it doesn't do is pay for college.

Over the years it has also tried to define for us what a mother is. With Mother's Day looming, here's a selection of the maternal TV characters I admire. Most of them are iconic figures now, thanks to endless reruns.

* June Cleaver: She vacuumed in pearls and dinner was always on the table at 5 p.m. She never went through the kids' bedrooms looking for pot or porn. Only in '50s fiction, right? June's house was always spotless, and she never seemed unduly ruffled by her teenagers' antics. TV's first Prozac parent?

* Samantha Stevens: A devoted mother who could turn a snooping neighbor into an ostrich. Samantha was a witch in the best sense of the word, although, truth be told, she had some delightfully kooky relatives (e.g., Endora, Aunt Clara and Uncle Arthur). And she didn't bat an eye when her husband completely changed appearances midway through the series' run. How did she explain that to Tabitha? Rhinoplasty? Rehab?

* Carol Brady: The matriarch of TV's best-known blended family. She brought three girls to the marriage and inherited three boys. Never shy about speaking her mind. Given that her husband was sort of a drip, Carol Brady clearly wore the pants in the family. TV's first proto-feminist mother?

* Marge Simpson: Can you think of a TV mom who has endured more crap than blue-haired Marge? As if being married to screw-up Homer wasn't bad enough, she's got a juvenile delinquent son, know-it-all daughter and a baby that's been in diapers nearly as long as the Hundred Years War. On the plus side, Marge hasn't aged in 20 years. I'm guessing she has a hyperbaric chamber somewhere.

* Claire Huxtable: Mom as a professional career woman. Despite a house full of kids, she managed to keep things in perspective. Wasn't above putting her wisecracking husband Cliff (Bill Cosby) in his place. Looked great for a woman whose kids had a 15-year age gap between oldest and youngest.

* Edith Bunker: Crazy like a fox might be the best way to describe this emotional punching bag for Archie. Clearly devoted to daughter Gloria and son-in-law Mike. She helped smooth Archie's rough edges, despite his verbal abuse. She's the reason neighbors returned after Archie said something stupid, which he always did. I'd vote her most likely to go out for groceries and never come back. Or come back with a crossbow.

* Peg Bundy: The best TV mom? Definitely not. But when it comes to having fun, you won't find many TV moms more willing to tie one on. She didn't cook or clean and wasn't really much for parenting, but she used to be a backup singer for Bette Midler. That has to count for something.

* Sarah Connor: Every mother would kill to protect their offspring, but Lena Headey takes that mission literally. She embodies the Terminator matriarch on TV with ferocity and femininity. Son John is a messianic loner, but how better to impress friends than by introducing them to a mom who can field strip an M16 in under two minutes? Plus, she's had sex with someone from the future.

* Olivia Walton: I mean, the woman had all those kids (seven) to feed during the Depression, and they never stopped talking. Jabber, jabber, jabber until the wee hours of the morning. Plus, she had to deal with grandparents who fancied themselves hillbilly Dr. Phils. Either she was a saint or she had a good supply of moonshine stashed in the shed.

Comments

  • May 8, 2008

    9:11 a.m.

    Suggest removal

    Sandog writes:

    I think you missed a big one!

    Annie Camden from "7th Heaven"!!! For "real" Mom role-models she has my vote, the show aired for 11 seasons!! She had 7 children and usually took in a few more, all on a preacher's salary!!

    Sweet, loving, caring, tough, and awesome "handy-woman" around the home!!

    Of course she comes in second to my own Mom!!

  • May 8, 2008

    11:32 a.m.

    Suggest removal

    treedog writes:

    What about Roseanne?

  • May 8, 2008

    12:51 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    celticfaerie writes:

    Lorelai Gilmore, from "Gilmore Girls".

    She's funny, quirky and represents all aspects of single-motherhood. All moms can't be like June Cleaver in real life.