KRIEGER: Baseball gods rain on Cardinals' parade

By Dave Krieger, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Monday, March 31, 2008

What a shame to waste all that ceremony and spectacle. St. Louis takes such pride in Opening Day. It's like a holiday.

There's a red stripe on the sidewalk all the way to the ballpark. Red water in the fountain outside. A rock band. A sea of red in the stands. It's like you're in Lincoln or something.

They introduce Cardinals legends. Lou Brock was there. Ozzie Smith. Bob Gibson. Stan Musial.

They delivered the entire current roster to the field in Mustang convertibles. It was the best thing that's happened to the American auto industry in a decade.

They brought in the University of Missouri marching band to play the national anthem. It was like a college football game. In fact, they announced at least twice that Missouri had beaten Arkansas.

I assume they were talking about the Cotton Bowl, but maybe not. After about 20 minutes of pageantry, I have to admit, my attention started to wander. The Cubs and Brewers were locked in a tight one and I figured I'd follow that until Tony La Russa or somebody decided it was time to play ball.

In fact, if they'd canned all the pomp and circumstance and just played the game, they might have gotten in five innings. As Jack Handey would say, something to think about.

When they finally got around to the first pitch, the Missouri-wide storm tracking north on the weather radar was close enough to kiss St. Louis.

Meanwhile, the Rockies' Jeff Francis, making his first Opening Day start, saw it turn almost immediately into something out of his nightmares. No, he wasn't out there in his underwear, but he might have preferred that.

Four balls to St. Louis leadoff man Skip Schumaker. Four more to the Cards' second batter, Ryan Ludwick. A visit from pitching coach Bob Apodaca. Two more balls to Albert Pujols - now it's 10 in a row - and a visit from shortstop Troy Tulowitzki.

"I got on him a little bit," Tulowitzki said. "I didn't think he was pitching like he's capable of. It worked for a batter, but he fell back into throwing some balls."

Seventeen out of his first 19 pitches, in fact. Walked the bases loaded. Twenty-one out of 35 in the first inning. The Rocks were down 4-1 after one, 5-1 after two.

And then the radar orange swept over a sea of red umbrellas. Ninety minutes later, they decided to do it all over again tonight. Maybe without all the Mustang convertibles. Not sure about Lou Brock.

The Rocks managed to contain their disappointment. Evidently, somebody up there still likes these guys.

"It's going to be exciting," Tulowitzki deadpanned. "We've been waiting for Opening Day a long time."

As you might recall, there was some suspicion last fall that the Rocks had friends in high places. They came out of nowhere, winning 14 of 15 to finish the season, then seven in a row through the first two rounds of the playoffs.

Alas, their luck ran out in the World Series. This year, it looked like they were on their own.

Maybe not. When the heavens turn the worst start of your best pitcher's career into a bad dream, that's some good karma.

"I guess I should go to a casino tonight," Francis said.

As the wretches quizzed him on exactly what went wrong, catcher Yorvit Torrealba walked by, coming from the shower.

"It doesn't count," Torrealba said to no one in particular. "Who cares? It never happened."

Explanations were offered anyway because nobody had anything better to do, this being St. Louis. Francis said he'd have to look at the film. The guy might be a football coach one day.

Hurdle thought Francis tried to slow things down so much he got too slow. You can be sure they'll get with the video guy and work it all out. But Torrealba had a point. If it never happened, it's probably not worth much more of our time.

Francis wasn't the only one smiling afterward. In the top of the first, Schumaker went into left-center field to rob Tulowitzki of extra bases.

"I was a little frustrated," Tulowitzki admitted. "Now I'm kind of happy he made that catch."

Because, you know, you don't want to waste a double in a rainout. The whole episode was a little like Alice in Wonderland that way. Good was bad, and bad was good.

Shockingly, this means that even though Kip Wells lost his spring training battle for a place in the starting rotation, he is now the Rockies' Opening Day starter.

In fact, this works out for everybody involved except, well, St. Louis, of course. Shame, that.

"We had to play 163 games last year," said Rockies spokesman Jay Alves. "I guess we'll do it again."

Well, no, not unless they finish the season in a tie. You see, this one never happened.