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The Sexual Paradox: Men, Women, and the Real Gender Gap

Verna Noel Jones, Special to the Rocky

Published March 21, 2008 at 12:05 a.m.

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The Sexual Paradox: Men, Women, and the Real Gender Gap

* Nonfiction. By Susan Pinker. Scribner, $25. Grade: A-

Book in a nutshell: A funny thing happened after the '70s push for equal rights for women. Many ambitious women obtained advanced university degrees and higher-paying careers than ever before. But many then discovered they had different notions of success than what was expected, and so they "opted out."

In The Sexual Paradox, author and developmental psychologist Pinker explores two groups. One comprises "fragile" boys such as the ones she once treated in her clinical practice - boys with learning and attention problems who were aggressive and antisocial. Years later, many of these struggling boys transformed into men with huge success stories.

In contrast, many highly disciplined, gifted girls who earned graduate degrees and had multiple career opportunities decided their happiness and sense of self-worth came not from such jobs, but through service-oriented work and more family time. In short, girls and boys really are different, and Pinker's well-researched book shows how and why biological sex differences ultimately influence career choices and ambition.

Best tidbit: Pinker shares the amazing story of Paul Orfalea, founder of Kinko's. As a child, he had ADHD and dyslexia and failed second grade the first time. Nevertheless, while in college, he managed to come up with the photocopy shop concept that grew into a 1,200-store empire netting $2 billion annually.

How? By realizing that his clients were simply different versions of his frenetic self - "anxious, afraid to miss deadlines, disorganized, always rushing, and maybe in need of a little company at odd hours."

Pros: The book sparkles in the sections when Pinker uses personal interviews to explore how her former patients have fared as adults and how their lives illustrate gender differences.

Cons: While Pinker supports her premises with the latest neuroscience and economic data, some of this highly detailed information slows the book to a plodding pace from time to time.

Final word: When it comes to learning, behavior and workplace gaps, women and men most likely will never be the same. But that, Pinker concludes, is not necessarily a bad thing.