Hundreds honor Parrs, Widener

Couple, daughter killed in December crash

By Lisa Ryckman, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published March 1, 2008 at 12:30 a.m.

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Photo by Chris Schneider © The Rocky

Former Gov. Dick Lamm speaks at a memorial for Sandy Widener, John Parr, and their 19-year-old daughter Chase Parr, who were killed in a December crash in Wyoming. Their other daughter, Katy, 18, survived the crash and sat in the audience Friday.

Photo by Chris Schneider / The Rocky

Katy Parr greets Lily MacGregor, held by her father, Mike MacGregor, at the memorial service for Parr's parents and sister. Parr is living with a family friend.

Photo by Dennis Schroeder / The Rocky

Classmates from East High School, from left, Emma Ferg, Jordan Booth, and Ainslie O'Neil, wave to Katy Parr as she arrives at Friday's memorial service at the Buell Theatre.

They came to honor four remarkable people: to share memories of three who died, and reach out to the one who lived.

Hundreds of people filled the Buell Theatre Friday to remember civic leader John Parr, 59; his wife, writer Sandy Widener, 53; and their daughter, 19-year-old Chase Parr, all killed in a chain-reaction crash on Interstate 80 in Wyoming just before Christmas.

The couple's youngest daughter, Katy, who just turned 18, was injured in the accident. She sat near the front of the theater as family, friends, governors and mayors past and present spoke of their love for her and her family.

"We are overjoyed to see you," former Mayor Federico Pena said to Katy from the stage. "Look at the (people) here today and know they love you and will always be at your side."

Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper called the crowd a roomful of potential surrogate parents for her.

"You will never be imposing," he told Katy, an East High School senior. "You'll be giving us a gift."

The family was known for opening their hearts and home to both powerful politicians and the neighbor down the street.

Cowboy boots

Born and raised on a farm in northwest Indiana, John Parr was a brilliant and eloquent visionary who reveled in complex policy problems but never sought recognition, friends said. Parr brought new vitality to the National Civic League as its head for 10 years, part of that time in New York, where he continued to wear his trademark cowboy boots.

"There's not a city you can go to where somebody doesn't know John Parr," said Gov. Bill Ritter, a family friend who consulted with Parr on policy and finance issues and appointed him to his Blue Ribbon Transportation Panel.

Parr helped elect Pena and Gov. Dick Lamm and co-founded Civic Results, a nonprofit that emphasizes collaborative problem-solving. He was the founding director of Colorado Common Cause and a pioneer in the concepts of smart growth, sustainable development and minority hiring.

But he was just as well known for his quick smile, love of laughter and willingness to help a troubled student or support a young colleague.

"He was as comfy as an old pair of cowboy boots," said his friend, Tom Clark, chairman of the Civic Results board. "He was so easy on the soul."

Family friend David Greenburg recalled Parr's ability to converse on virtually any subject, from the proper way to groom a prize heifer to the relative merits of various self-composting toilets. He practiced yoga to stay fit and could drive and tinker with anything from a tractor to the Porsche that Widener gave him for his 50th birthday.

His sisters said he met his match in outgoing Sandy Widener, whose father, Paul Widener, recalled how after a move to a new town, "She went up and down the street introducing herself and telling everyone what we had for breakfast."

Westword, curries

Widener and Parr met when she went to Lamm's office to interview him for a story for Westword, which she helped found 30 years ago with friends from Cornell University, including Patty Calhoun.

"We thought she was like a comet, streaking through the atmosphere," Calhoun said. "But when she found John, she really found her orbit, and they pulled all of us into it."

They were married in 1986, and Chase was born two years later. Widener left journalism to become a textbook writer to stay at home with their daughters, and both she and Parr were intensely involved in the kids' schools.

Widener was famous for cooking elaborate and wonderful meals, particularly curries, which she and Parr loved to share with their enormous circle of friends.

"What you need to know about Sandy, you could find in her kitchen," said her friend, Lisa Farber Miller. "Sandy connected with people through food."

She was generous with her time and her energy as well, whether delivering library books to a senior center, taking a friend with cancer to the doctor or leading her daughters' Girl Scout troop. And she was always ready to listen and lend a hand.

"Sandy never judged," said her brother-in-law, Mike McMaster. "She just helped."

Voice of an angel

Parr and Widener passed their passion for living life to its fullest to their daughters, said friends, who remembered Chase as a tiny blonde who loved books and high heels and sang with the voice of an angel.

She had a silly streak and a powerful intellect, said Kendall McKinnon, her roommate at Wesleyan University, where she was a sophomore.

"Chase (told me), 'I'm not really happy unless I'm learning something new,' " McKinnon said.

Katy, who is living with family friend Ina Katich and her daughter, Helen, did not address the crowd. But her friends spoke for her, recalling one of the first things she said to them after the accident.

"She said she felt like her whole life, her parents and sister were preparing her for this without even knowing it," Lauren Harrington said. "She was raised to be strong, independent, unique and hilarious. Knowing Katy now, and knowing her before this, I'm confident in saying that these things have not changed, and they will not change.

"Katy will always be the heart of the Parr family."

ryckmanl@RockyMountainNews.com

In memory

A number of awards and scholarships have been established to commemorate the Parr family. Here's a list of where to contribute:

* The John Parr and Sandy Widener Civic Leadership Award Denver Foundation, 55 Madison St., No. 800, Denver, 80206, or denver foundation.org

* The Sandra J. Widener '76 Memorial Fund Sandra Widener was assistant managing editor of the Cornell Daily Sun while in college. Daily Sun Alumni Association, P.O. Box 876, Ithaca, N.Y., 14851-9980

* The John Parr Children and Nature Leadership Award Annual cash gift is given to an outstanding young "Natural Leader."

Children & Nature Network, 7 Avenida Vista Grande B-7 No. 502, Santa Fe, N.M., 87508

* The John Parr Denver Community Leadership Scholarship Fund CU Foundation/John Parr DCLF Scholarship Fund, School of Public Affairs, c/o the Center for Public-Private Sector Cooperation, Campus Box 133, P.O. Box 173364, Denver, 80217-3364

* Downtown Denver Leadership Program's John Parr Leadership Award downtowndenver.com

• March 1, 2008

  3 p.m.

  Suggest removal

  bookwerm writes:

  Really too bad the kids weren't wearing seat belts, very very sad. Parents, do a better job with your families, this is a tragedy that didn't have to happen! Maybe the other daughter would have made it. I have a hard time understanding a parent, in this day and age, not only wearing seat belts for themselves, but also making the kids wear them! If my kid took his belt off, I would pull over the car and make them!

• March 1, 2008

  4:34 p.m.

  Suggest removal

  gs writes:

  I thought the truck crushed the car and they did have safety belts on.

• March 12, 2008

  3:15 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  jessica18 writes:

  This website is a nice directory of the various treatment help options available for struggling teens. Parents of struggling teens will surely get benefit from it. Teen depression can cause various other problems and disorders such as teen suicide, teen stress, teen smoking etc.
  http://www.troubledteensearch.com/

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