Starving boy 'forgotten in death' : rockymountainnews.com

Toy cars, stuffed animals and flowers surround a temporary marker in the little angels section of Mount Olivet Cemetery in Wheat Ridge.

But little Chandler Grafner's grave still has no headstone more than a year after his death shocked the region.

The 7-year-old died May 6, 2007. His caretakers - Jon Phillips, 27, and his common-law wife, Sarah Berry, 23 - are accused of locking Chandler in a closet and starving him to death.

Last fall, dozens of Rocky Mountain News readers offered to pay for a headstone after reading about the unmarked site. But the family couldn't agree on whether to allow donors to buy one.

Chandler's mother, Christina Grafner, 28, didn't want to take charity. Other relatives said they were in the process of buying a headstone, but that didn't happen. Since the cemetery requires relatives to approve the wording and placement of headstones, the effort to mark the grave came to a halt.

This week, Grafner and Chandler's father, Josh Norris, told the Rocky they would allow donors to pay for a headstone. A fund is being set up for that purpose.

"I feel bad my son still doesn't have a headstone," Grafner said. "It's not fair for my son to not have one. He just deserves to have it."

Grafner, who lost custody of Chandler and his younger brother, Dominick, amid allegations of neglect, said she has nightmares about her sons.

Phillips is Dominick's father.

She dreams of Dominick opening a closet door and seeing Chandler's limp body fall out.

Grafner is six months pregnant. Her boyfriend of three years is a supermarket manager. She's due in October but expects to deliver early because of health problems.

"I feel like God is telling me, 'This is it.' I can screw up no more. I was meant to have two (children), and I'm going to have two. I wish it was three."

After Chandler's death, social workers placed Dominick with two foster families. Since December, he's been living with Grafner's sister in Morrison, she said.

Grafner said he finished kindergarten and is going to counseling. She said he will testify at the murder trials of Phillips and Berry. She also plans to testify.

Phillips and Berry have pleaded not guilty. Their lawyers contend that Chandler died of an unknown illness. Phillips and Berry are scheduled to be tried separately on first-degree murder charges this summer.

Chandler's father said he hasn't worked since Chandler died. That's why he said he can't afford Chandler's headstone. Grafner said she had to leave her bartending job because of complications with her pregnancy.

He and Grafner met with Norman's Memorials in Wheat Ridge last fall to pick out a flat marker of dark blue granite. The design is to include a ceramic photo of the boy holding a baseball when he was about 4, and phrases such as "You are my sunshine" and "An angel too beautiful for this world to keep."

Grafner said she last visited the grave on the anniversary of Chandler's death, placing a yellow stuffed duck and some flowers there.

And the boy's grave also has been visited by strangers.

Kelly Davis, a software engineer from Centennial, has no personal connection to Chandler, but she has been following the case for months.

On Mother's Day, Davis, her husband and her 5-year-old son visited the cemetery, adding a Bob the Builder hat and Match Box cars to the toy collection.

"This poor child's life was nothing short of a tragedy and his not having a headstone of some sort was the final indignity," Davis said. "He's just as forgotten in death as he was in life."

How to help

* Donations are being accepted for Chandler Grafner's headstone, estimated to cost $1,300. Norman's Memorials in Wheat Ridge is donating part of the cost. Checks can be sent to:

Chandler Grafner Headstone Fund

UMB Bank

P.O. Box 17863

Denver, CO 80217

* The bank will begin accepting checks Thursday afternoon. Any extra donations cannot be returned and will be given to a local agency serving abused children.

Grafner case

* April 12, 2000: Chandler Grafner is born premature, less than four pounds, at University Hospital.

* March 2006: His mother, Christina Grafner, loses custody of Chandler and his younger brother, Dominick, amid allegations of neglect.

* May: Jon Phillips, Dominick's father, and his common-law wife, Sarah Berry, get custody of the boys and are later given permanent custody.

* January 2007: Chandler's school reports to child protective services in Denver that the boy shows injuries and says he had been hit by Phillips. He later recants and social workers dismiss the allegations as unfounded.

* April: Chandler's school reports to child protective services that the boy has not been in school for five weeks. Authorities do not investigate.

* May 6: Chandler's body is taken from a closet of Phillips' south Denver home. The boy dies of starvation and dehydration. He weighs 34 pounds, has dozens of bruises on his body and his ribs protrude from his chest. Dominick is placed in foster care. Phillips and Berry are charged with first-degree murder.

* August: Phillips and Berry are ordered to stand trial on murder charges. A state Department of Human Services review of the Grafner case indicates that social workers in Denver, Arapahoe and Jefferson counties failed to communicate and violated regulations in their responses to reports of alleged abuse over the previous three years.

* December: Dominick is placed with his aunt.

* April 2008: The Department of Human Services issues a critical review of 13 child abuse deaths in 2007, including Chandler's, that happened after contact with child protective agencies. Agency head orders administrative changes.

Starving boy 'forgotten in death'

Donations sought to replace marker with a headstone