CAMERON: A new way to reduce your footprint

By Bruce Cameron, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published July 18, 2008 at 3 p.m.

Text size  

• 2 Comments
• Email
• Print

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how I made up my mind to save the planet by taking a bus to the store. Let me tell you, that column was as exciting as a column about deciding to ride the bus could possibly be.

Newspapers sold out around the world, and both the Obama and McCain campaigns suspended operations for the day, saying there was no point in making speeches if "Cameron is going to hog all the media with his wonderful bus stories."

Ever since I wrote that piece, I've noticed that the people riding on buses look a lot more cheerful, smiling and waving out the windows because finally someone has put into words what they've long known: You can't ride a bus if you don't first decide to ride a bus.

Taking the bus isn't as convenient as the way I usually prefer to travel, which is in a stretch limo with someone there to give me a foot rub, like maybe Naomi Watts, or even Tom Hanks, who said, "If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it." (Yes, he really did say this. Maybe not about riding a bus, but he did say it.)

Bus schedules can be confusing if you're a man and don't like to read instructions, and for some reason they refuse to pick you up at your door and drive you straight to your destination.

But having rather famously decided to take a bus (and yes, I'd accept a knighthood or other token of esteem if everyone wants to start some sort of grass-roots campaign to honor me for this decision), it was now up to me to heroically take the next logical step, which was to get on the bus itself.

With a pneumatic hiss, the doors to an immense city bus threw themselves open and I stepped aboard, somewhat disappointed that there hadn't been more fanfare - like maybe a parade. I slipped my coins into the box, took my ticket and swayed down the narrow aisle to my seat, plunking down next to a man in his 30s who was clearly making a new start in the world, like so many of the passengers around me.

Was he off to labor in the fields, perhaps, or to weld parts or carry boxes? I asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm the CFO of a software company," he told me.

"Good for you!" I gushed, wanting to encourage him. "That's what makes this country great, is that anyone can just print up a business card and call himself the boss!"

He frowned a little. "We had sales last year of $2 billion."

"That's wonderful," I said. "Hopefully, one of these days you'll turn your dream into a reality!"

Everyone on the bus was very friendly. There was a man who asked me to stop talking and a woman who refused to show me her baby.

Eventually I found a window seat, remembering fondly the day when my friend Billy Bunting and I had thrown apples out the school-bus window. "Apples," I murmured. I'd pick some up at the grocery store to share with my new bus buddies!

"Be fun to pelt pedestrians with apples, wouldn't it?"

I told the man sitting across from me, who told me he was an Episcopal priest. He pretended to find the idea unappealing, but then so did Billy when I first thought of it.

With the sun streaming in through the glass, I grew sleepy and dozed off. I'm not sure how long I was out, though when I awoke I concluded that the bus on which I was riding must travel in one large circle, because what did I see out the window but my own bus stop! I pulled the signal cord and stepped off onto the curb exactly where I'd gotten on, proud of how much I'd reduced my planetary carbon footprint.

So there you have it: Over two columns, I've described how I decided to ride the bus and then how, when I finally got on the thing, I wound up taking a nap.

You just don't get more exciting than that.

Write to Bruce at bruce@wbrucecameron.com.

• July 19, 2008

  2:12 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  speedstan writes:

  There's an easier way to minimize your carbon footprint even more - go kill yourself. That way, you will never burn fossil fuels, you won't consume food that the third-worlders need, you won't encroach on any "endangered habitat", and you can absolve yourself of guilt for being alive. I will admit, however, that my idea is not original. I stole if from the extreme left...

• July 21, 2008

  12:30 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  TheBigKlosowski writes:

  Sometimes I'm amazed by the quality of comments on the tubes of the interweb. And not always in a good way.

  People who think that any effort to be more environmentally aware makes you a flaming liberal obviously never met a rancher or farmer - people who have been stewards of the land for centuries. There is nothing wrong with taking the bus, unless you are elitist and feel above sitting with us common people speedstan.

  I actually enjoy public transportation because I get to relax and not worry about the traffic and inconveniences of owning a car. Sure, sometimes taking my car is better, but the more I can leave it parked the better. Why pay $4 per gallon of gas if I don't have to?

Featured

• 2008 Voter’s Guide

  

  Use our Ballot Builder tool to compare your viewpoints to the candidates.

• A Dozen on Denver

  

  Sandra Dallas wrote 'Lennie's tavern' for our ongoing fiction series. Check it out!

• Rocky Multimedia

  

  The news comes alive in our videos and slide shows. Catch up on today's events.

• Bronco Dean's rant

  

  Listen to Bronco Dean's totally biased pregame rant about the Broncos-Jaguars game.

• Presidential Elections

  

  See how Colorado counties have voted through the years.

• County election profiles

  

  A look at how residents in each Colorado county may vote.

• A dream fulfilled

  

  A Rocky Mountain News and MediaStorm production

• Latest from Dove Valley

  

  Click for more broncos videos.

• Sam Adams' Open Mic

  

  No. 44 means a lot to Floyd Little