FAMILY HELPLINE: Be true to yourself when naming baby

Beth Pfalmer, Special to the Rocky

Published January 28, 2008 at 12:05 a.m.

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We're expecting a baby soon and can't decide on a name. Both sets of grandparents have strong feelings about continuing with family naming traditions. My partner and I strongly disagree about our preferences. I'm overwhelmed and unsure how to solve this. Who can help us?

Being a parent means making the tough calls. While there will always be advisers with strong opinions, ultimately you and your partner are responsible for the decisions.

Family naming traditions are creating conflict when harmony is what's best for the health of you and the baby and your relationship with your partner.

Set aside what others want. You and your partner choose your top three or four picks and compare notes. How can you combine your lists to come up with a name you can both accept?

Avoid creating names that will be difficult to pronounce or spell. Say names out loud. Print the names; write the names. Look at the initials.

Avoid seeking family counsel or approval for the name you ultimately choose. Your child will be loved by both sets of grandparents no matter what you decide. Hurt feelings will heal as soon as they hold the baby in their arms.

My 6-year-old has the annoying habit of humming a single tone - a lot. I'm always after him to quit, but he just keeps doing it to the aggravation of teachers, friends and family. What can I do?

This sounds like an unconscious habit, much like nail-biting. The sound is soothing or is masking something your son wants to avoid.

Have his doctor rule out a hear- ing problem or ringing in his ears. If there's no apparent physi- cal reason, observe to identify any pattern to when he hums.

If it's a stress response, ask him to think about what else he can do to feel better. It might take patience and trial and error before he moves on to a less- disturbing method of stress management.

Have a parenting question? Call the Family Support Line, 303-695- 7996 or 1-877-695-7996, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily. Family Support Line is a program of Families First, sponsored in part by the Rocky Mountain News.

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