Play signals something has changed

By Beth Pfalmer

Published January 14, 2008 at 12:05 a.m.

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I am upset by my 7- and 9-year-old kids' recent behavior toward their friends when they visit our home. They're bossy and won't share. They used to play nicely. What's going on?

Supervise your children closely and avoid overly long play dates. Be consistent about enforcing rules while you investigate the cause for their poor behavior toward friends.

Talk with parents of children your kids have played with lately. Are your children having behavior issues away from home, too? What about school?

Think about recent changes in their lives, something that may cause feelings of insecurity. Have they lost a pet or someone close to them? Have you moved?

If your children used to behave appropriately, perhaps they are mimicking the way they're being treated. Are they being bullied?

Pay close attention to your children. Do you see other changes such as with eating or sleep patterns? Talk with them about the changes you see. Can they tell you what's happening to their good nature?

Sudden changes usually signal something is amiss. Your kids will feel most secure when their boundaries are firm. Don't give up on investigating the situation so you can help your children reclaim their positive nature.

My 9-year-old was given a spying device for Christmas. It has a sensitive microphone so he can eavesdrop, unnoticed, on others' conversations. He can't resist using it even though he gets in trouble when he gets caught. What should we do?

This toy might be too much temptation for most kids.

If you've been clear about what's inappropriate and he's had consequences when he crosses the line, he isn't ready to have the toy. Take it away. Explain that when he is able to resist the temptation of invading others' privacy, then he can try again.

Do the best thing for your child even though he may protest that it's not fair. Exercise good judgment, especially when your son can't.

Have a parenting question? Call the Family Support Line, 303-695-7996 or 1-877-695-7996, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily. Family Support Line is a program of Families First, sponsored in part by the Rocky Mountain News.

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