MASSARO: Evelyn Notary was glue that held family together

By Gary Massaro, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Notary's speciality was baking desserts.

Evelyn Notary was a wife and mother who worked inside and outside the home. But her kids thought of her as the general.

That's what her son, John, called her because she was the top boss.

"She was involved in all of our lives," he said. "She was involved in raising all of her grandchildren. She was always encouraging, always supportive. Grandma was not only grandma. She was mom and comforter and general."

She died Jan. 1 from complications of a kidney infection. She was 80.

She was born Nov. 13, 1927, in Denver to John and Susie DeBell Elliott. She grew up in north Denver, attending Mount Carmel Catholic Church and School.

She dropped out of high school to work as a clerk at the old Neusteter's department store.

After World World II, she met Frank Notary. Aunts from both sides set it up for them to meet.

They were married Nov. 21, 1948, in Denver. He died of a heart attack in 1980.

Mrs. Notary worked downtown until she had her children. When the youngest went to school, she returned, retiring from the department store after 27 years.

At home, Mrs. Notary's speciality in the kitchen was baking - the sweet stuff.

"She labored over it," said her daughter, Sandra Danne, of Thornton. "They had to be perfect. And they always were. She'd make Italian cookies, chocolate chip cookies, cakes. Every Christmas, she'd make a 100-pound fruitcake. It was just heavy."

It wasn't the factory-made, doorstop fruitcakes people joke about. Mrs. Notary would make it from scratch with finest ingredients, including hazelnuts, Danne said.

She may have been the general, but she was also the glue. She held her family together.

But don't even think she spoiled her kids.

"There was no 'wait 'til your father gets home,' " said son Jim Notary, chief of the North Washington Fire Protection District. "She didn't wait."

She was also the one her children came to when they were taking their lumps in life.

"She was always there for you," John said.

But she wasn't a pushover, either.

"She didn't help you solve your problem by throwing money at it. She was a great one for, 'I told you so,'" Danne said. "But she was always right. After she'd tell you 'I told you so,' she was there to talk you through it, whether it was midnight or the middle of the day."

She loved board and card games, teaching her kids and grandchildren and lately, her great-grandchildren.

She also used the games to teach her children about real life.

"You play by the rules. There's no cheating," Danne said. "You just don't cheat, whether it's checkers or life."

She went on a few trips to Las Vegas with son Jim and other firefighters taking continuing-education classes.

"I had to go on business. She went along so she could get a little exercise on the slot machines," he said. "The other guys and me - we'd walk miles. She kept up with us. It was her way of pleasing everybody, of making sure she wasn't a burden.

Survivors include two sons, Jim of Denver and John of Thornton; one daughter, Sandra Danne of Thornton; two sisters, Lou Ondovcik of Denver and Shirley Jacobsen of Aftons, Okla., 10 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.

Contributions: Child Rescue, 1333 South Quail Run Road, Watkins, CO 80137.

massarog@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-954-5271