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LINCICOME: NBA All-Stars only exercising their egos

By Bernie Lincicome, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published February 18, 2008 at 12:45 a.m.

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Watching Utah's Deron Williams dribbling around the motionless NBA props in one of those ceaseless All-Star gimmick stunts, it was eerily like he was again dribbling around the Nuggets defense.

Otherwise, nothing that happened at the NBA All-Star extended weekend in New Orleans, including the game itself, had much to do with basketball.

It had to do with preening and posing and showing off, and not showing off for the fans or for the event, which would be somewhat forgivable, but for the most dreary of male motives, for each other.

The affair encourages this kind of peacock flash and flaunt, or to use the official judging criteria, "artistic ability, imagination, body flow and fan response," reducing basketball to figure skating, or at least to one of Allen Iverson's drives to the basket.

The next time, for example, anyone blows out a candle on a cupcake while dunking the basketball, as Minnesota's Gerald Green did, it had better be somebody's birthday and it better be James Naismith's.

And I suppose if Orlando's Dwight Howard, who won the slam dunk thing, can dress up as Superman, he ought to at least have to outrun a speeding locomotive, or jump over the tall building in a single bound, rather than just a small space inside of it.

Howard's little masquerade has been widely hailed as the best show since, well, I guess since little Spud Webb did the impossible.

The astonishing thing would be a 7-footer who could not dunk the basketball.

This is not to grumble about grown men doing what they would be benched for doing in a regular NBA game, or should be, but it is to point out that ego, the enemy of cooperation and teamwork, is not only allowed to distort things, it is rewarded for it.

The trouble with these "skills competitions," and all all- star games have them, is that they admit that the sport itself is too boring to keep the attention of an audience.

While this may be true and there is money to be made, the emphasis gets all twisted, away from the game to the circus, where showing off against phantoms draws greater hoots and hollers than real competition.

You would think when Howard bounced the ball off the backside of the backboard and then reached around and dunked it on the other side, he had just rescued a falling baby or invented the twist tie, something truly brave or significant.

Now, if he had also blown out a candle on a cupcake . . .

Whether it is home run hitting or throwing a football for accuracy or slap shooting or bounce passing, these are basically drills turned into entertainment, with paying sponsors.

This sort of scam has always been the business of figure skating and gymnastics, where prizes are awarded for doing the same thing over and over, the only judgment being whether it was done better this time than the last time it was seen.

At least, to date, the NBA has not added music. Or sequins, though capes are getting close.

The NBA All-Star Game closes out the silly season now until this summer, when the best of all-star games will take place in Yankee Stadium, the last such in the last season for the House that Ruth Built.

The best still remains the baseball affair, where the actual game is played as actual games are played, even if the World Series home field is an extreme reward placed in the hands of players who will have no stake in it.

For the NBA game, or the NHL game, or even the worst of the bunch, the NFL waltz and giggle from Hawaii, to really matter in the way baseball does, they could have the Finals or the Stanley Cup start in the conference of the winner.

Since the NFL's Super Bowl is at a neutral site, the prize could be, oh, winning side gets the kickoff in both halves.

The NFL game has become so unwatched, and unwatchable, that sentiment is growing to do away with it altogether, and the others always seem to be a letdown after so much hype.

There may be no way to save the Pro Bowl, but with it and hockey and basketball all in the same month of February, maybe one solution is to do them all at the same time, in the same place, have NBA players try to dribble on ice, or hockey players to just jump, never mind slam dunk, in the bulky laundry they wear and football players try to hit a three-point shot wearing skates.

It wouldn't be any more meaningless or absurd than it is now.

And I'm sure ESPN would create a network for it.

lincicomeb@RockyMountainNews.com

Comments

  • February 18, 2008

    10:01 a.m.

    Suggest removal

    likdog writes:

    It would be one thing if these type of things were done during a game, with players drawing attention to themselves, but during an All-Star weekend, which is just an opportunity for the fans and players to have fun, AND give back to the community and city at hand, there is nothing wrong or egomaniacal about the dunk contest or seeing NBA players have fun in front of the fans.

    Not only were many of us watching taken back to our childhoods, there were many ACTUAL children who had huge smiles on their faces sharing joy with the proceedings.

    Honestly, Bernie, you sound like a sour curmudgeon who has forgotten his love for the game.

  • February 18, 2008

    12:34 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    mdug writes:

    Bernie,

    Your article only shows that you don't personally care for the NBA, and is filled with more ignorant bias than anything I have read recently.
    The All-Star event is created for entertainment purposes, AND for the players to be honored amongst their peers. The candle blow out dunk was extremely creative and helped revive an event that has been long dying.
    If you hate the NBA, please spare the rest of us and don't write about it.

  • February 18, 2008

    1:09 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    othellot writes:

    Bernie,

    Please tell your editor to find some new material for you; the perpetual "critic of everything sports-related" shtick is wearing thin.

    While many criticize the top players for avoiding the All-Star activities, you criticize them for their participation. How dare they please the fans with frivolous personal contests! There are NBA Championships to be won.

    I enjoyed watching the creativity displayed by the dunkers and the remarkable accuracy of the 3-point shooters. Also, the contests allow fans to compare the skills of these exorbitantly talented players, which I find enlightening and entertaining.

    We all know that all-star games are not exact replicas of in-season contests. Even baseball limits the number of innings an individual pitcher can pitch in their mis-summer classic. They are just occasions for players, fans and even dyspeptic sportswriters to relax and enjoy.

  • February 18, 2008

    2:47 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    nfnkalyan writes:

    dear bernie,

    you are cordially invited to dr. james naismith's birthday party this november 6th at my place in miami florida. all expenses paid.

    cupcakes and brains provided.

    love,

    nfn

  • February 18, 2008

    4:06 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    joketrump writes:

    Bernie,

    You are a complete idiot who obviously doesn't like or appreciate the game of basketball. I can't believe I even wasted my time on your drivel. Do you even think before you just vomit your senseless words onto the page? Do your editors actually approve of this? Pathetic.

  • February 19, 2008

    1:06 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    gnm200 writes:

    Love for the game? WHAT game? The game of Me, Me, Me? You do know that the 'B' stands for Boring in the NBA, don't you (recalcitrant editorialists)?

  • February 21, 2008

    9:41 a.m.

    Suggest removal

    bballfan2850 writes:

    Dear Bernie, this must be one of the worst articles I have ever read. I don't even know how you could complain about it. This is, I believe, the only article I have read these days about people bashing this year's all-star weekend. Every NBA writer, every sports columnists is saying this was one of the best all-star weekend in ages. And I see you are bashing players for their egos. What egos, exactly? They were just out there having fun with each other and entertaining us, the fans. This is called HAVING FUN, not showing off, egos and all those things that old people like you whine about.

    Also, why didn't you mention about what NBA players, NBA officials, owners etc. did in New Orleans last weekend? They built and painted houses, schools etc. all over the city. It was the largest community effort in New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina devastated the city. Not only that, it was the largest community effort ever organized in professional sports history. Read a few articles on the New Orleans Times Picayune (they had a great coverage during the all-star weekend) and see it for yourself. So, with this being said, how could you complain about last weekend's all-star weekend? I just can't believe how bitter you are. Really, it's unbelievable.

    Also, people always complained that the slam-dunk contest wasn't what it used to be. Well, now that they found a way to revive it and make it fun again, people still complain. Seriously, what do these guys need to do in order to please you and make you happy? I don't really know.

    Also, you wrote that basketball is a boring sport. Are you kidding me? Are you really kidding me? Maybe you should write that basketball is boring just in YOUR opinion. It sounds like that you say basketball is boring as in a fact. Speak for yourself. I personally consider basketball my favorite sport and the NBA my favorite sports league. I'd watch it over any other sport. In MY opinion basketball is the best. You could have said that in YOUR opinion basketball is boring. Don't say it's boring as in a fact.

    Also, dear Bernie, I'd like you to invite reading Bill Simmons' article on ESPN Page 2 about the all-star weekend. It's one of the best articles I have ever read since I follow the NBA. Please read what a true NBA fan like Simmons (someone who should know something more than you about the NBA) wrote in his article. I assure you that you won't be so bitter anymore about the NBA and you'll realize how bad this article you wrote is.

    GO NUGGETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • February 21, 2008

    9:47 a.m.

    Suggest removal

    bballfan2850 writes:

    Oh btw, Bernie, why did you waste your time watching the all-star weekend and writing an article about it if you hate it so much? Do you really have so much time on your hands? Go write about something you really enjoy. Having to read those negative articles (articles who create perceptions, stereotypes etc.) is not fun at all.