Foster kids seek sibling contact

Bill would allow brothers, sisters to stay in touch

By Katie Kerwin McCrimmon, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Monday, February 4, 2008

Barry Gutierrez / The Rocky

Renee Manke, 22, kisses her son Brandon, 4, right, while her other son, Dominic, 18 months, watches TV. Manke hasn't seen her 13-year-old sister, who is in foster care, in nearly two years.

Renee Manke lost part of her family when social workers took her from her drug-addicted mother years ago.

Then, when she and her younger sister were placed in separate foster families, she lost contact with her only sibling - even though the sisters leaned on each other for support through that tumultuous time.

Now 22 and on her own, Manke has not seen her little sister in nearly two years.

"We got taken away from our parents. Why should we be taken away from the only family we have left? We didn't do anything wrong," Manke said.

She regularly writes to her sister, who is now 13. But, after Manke had two babies, her sister's foster parents cut off contact.

"I love her and I miss her. I write to her all the time. It's really terrible not knowing how she's doing. We were always there for each other when times were kind of crazy," Manke said. "If she wants to see me, then I want to see her."

The plight of severed siblings like Manke and her sister would change under a bill that won final approval in the Colorado legislature recently.

House Bill 1006 would allow brothers and sisters to have regular visits if both wish to see each other. It includes safeguards that would protect a child if there was any allegation of abuse by a sibling.

The bill sailed through the House before being amended slightly in the Senate and then reapproved by the House.

Manke and fellow foster children with Mile High United Way's Bridging the Gap program met and found that loss of siblings was a nearly universal experience.

Former foster children who are now young adults decided to take their concerns to the Colorado legislature, where they testified before both House and Senate committees and won nearly universal support.

Rep. Cheri Jahn, D-Wheat Ridge, sponsored the bill after the young people came to her for help.

"I'm very excited," Jahn said. "For such a vulnerable population to have a sense of family is huge. My hope is that we let the foster care kids have a strong support group with their family and with their siblings."

Jahn credited the young people with selling their bill.

"The kids actually came together to write the legislation, to meet and decide who their spokespersons would be and how to present the bill. I said, 'These are the things you need to do. It's your bill.' They really worked hard," Jahn said.

Manke said the experience of testifying before the legislature was empowering.

Her mother is now in a halfway house and is improving, Manke said. Manke was taken from her mom when she was 17 and her little sister was only 9. Because of the chaos in their home, Manke said she treated her sister like her own child, taking her to school and helping her with homework. She yearns to renew their relationship.

The social workers tried to keep the sisters together. But, the age difference caused problems. Manke eventually emancipated herself at age 18.

One of the last times Manke saw her sister was on her son's second birthday. He is now 4 and often asks about the pictures of the girl all over their Lakewood apartment. Manke tells her son that his aunt is very special, but she lives too far away to visit.

Manke is now studying to get her high school equivalency degree so she can attend community college and study early childhood education.

Advocates for foster children say Manke is hardy alone.

Kippi Clausen is the project director for Bridging the Gap. She said during brainstorming sessions, nearly all the kids spoke of their lost siblings.

"A lot of them say, 'My sibling is still my family. Without that, you really lose a sense of yourself and your history. My sibling knows me better than anyone else. We know what we've been through.' "

mccrimmonk@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-954-2502