At age 3, this happy child already has 'the best of both worlds'

By Jean Torkelson, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published August 16, 2008 at 12:05 a.m.

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At the age of 3, Seneca Holmes is already a real Missouri farm kid, bouncing along on tractors, baling hay and helping his Uncle Cody pocket snakes.

"When I was growing up I didn't even know how food got to a grocery store," chuckled his Denver-born dad, also named Seneca. "He has both worlds."

But more than geography marks the worlds of "Little Seneca" as he is called. He is also growing up a biracial child, a citizen of both a white rural culture and a black urban culture.

His favorite vacation place is the family farm of his mother, Bobbi, 29, who grew up in Barnard, Mo., in quintessential small-town America, one of only 20 in her graduation class.

About 600 miles away, Seneca's dad, now 31, already was spanning two worlds - he grew up in a black Denver neighborhood but attended private Catholic schools and Cherry Creek High School. His dad is dean of a Catholic high school; his mother is retired from a sales and marketing career.

When a football injury forced Holmes to find a new college, he picked Bobbi Parnum's - Northwest Missouri State University.

"The only black person I ever met was a referee in a tournament," Bobbi said. But we started talking, and I thought, 'Oh my gosh, he is so nice. I never met a nicer man.' "

"If I hadn't been injured and was forced to transfer, we never would have met," her husband said. "We were very, very blessed in our relationship, just how everything has worked out."

After the first shock, Holmes won over her parents quickly: "If you ever break up, we're siding with Seneca," Bobbi's mother, Nancy, likes to tease.

Bobbi's brothers came around more slowly, but just as completely. Still, some neighbors and extended family remain distant. "As long as (Bobbi and Seneca) are happy, I don't care what other people say," said Bobbi's mother.

The Holmes family accepted Bobbi easily. Now, the couple have been married six years. Both are teachers; Holmes is also a football and track coach.

So, things are coming together. The last question - especially for the Parnums - what about the kids?

Little Seneca is the couple's first child. "I think Seneca will be fine," Bobbi Holmes said. "He'll be around a lot of different races. We'll make sure we keep him grounded in that."

"I tell Bobbi, regardless of how dark or light he is, Seneca will always be looked at as a black person," said Holmes. "That's good and bad, depending on where he's at and where the person is at who's looking at him. That's just something Seneca will have to deal with . . . as we raise him, we'll make it is a good thing - you can associate with anybody and relate to anybody. That's what we're going to stress - it's a good thing."

Added Bobbi, "So he's got the best of both worlds."

They note the fact that Little Seneca is the first multiracial person to live - even if it's just for vacation - in rural Barnard, which should be a learning experience for everybody.

"He doesn't understand yet it's just skin color," his dad said. "When he does go to the farm and sees nobody like himself, and here in Denver he does, I'm sure he'll start putting that together."

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