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LINCICOME: Don't pooh-pooh the festivity of woo

By Bernie Lincicome, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published August 9, 2008 at 12:05 a.m.

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Some things you suspect, some things you guess at and some things you just know.

The Mandarin word for eight is bah, and since the Beijing Games started on Aug. 8 of '08, that makes them the bah-bah-bah Olympics. Now had they been on May 5 of '05, they would have been the woo-woo-woo Games. Sounds like a lot more fun.

Five Big 12 football teams (Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Texas and Kansas) are picked in the preseason top 15, and Colorado, not ranked, plays three of them, plus West Virginia, Florida State and that team in Lincoln. Insight Bowl, here they come.

The game between Colorado State and Air Force will decide which team has a losing record and which one breaks even.

Brian Fuentes happily, or maybe not, found out that Dan O'Dowd's trigger finger is a thumb.

Really, now. There was no way Brett Favre could go back to Green Bay after talking to Greta Van Susteren.

Favre will find out that, in New York, hayseed is a health food.

And that Nov. 30 game for the Broncos against the Jets just got a lot more interesting, considering that the last time Denver saw Favre, it was one play in overtime and goodbye.

Heavy hangs the burden of Ryder Cup revenge on the shoulders of Phil Mickelson, while Tiger Woods rests knowing they can't blame this one on him.

This reminds me of a line from Sandy Lyle, who was asked, when Tiger was first on tour, what he thought of Tiger Woods. "Don't know," Lyle said. "Haven't played there yet."

He knows now. They all do.

Without Brandon Marshall, the Broncos will need Darrell Jackson or Keary Colbert to step in, step up and step out.

Jeff Francis looked like himself against Washington, and that's just the trouble. Francis has gone from miser to donor.

The Heisman watch is digital and is already on the wrist of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow.

Manny Ramirez will do for the Dodgers what the Hindenburg did for dirigibles.

No matter what is said, I will not believe that, when the Broncos huddle, Mike Shanahan thinks they are talking about him.

Which are the three more chilling words to hear: "I'll play these," or "Upon further review . . . "?

And yet, Clint Hurdle remains an optimist.

The Baseball Hall of Fame's five-year wait should be waived for Greg Maddux before his career lives longer than his voters.

People will believe anything that is whispered.

How can anybody be surprised that Al Wilson is missed?

No one really cares which network televises which sport.

Today's most common sports injury has to be bruised feelings.

Protests may be allowed in Beijing if they take place outside the Democratic National Convention. Or maybe it's the other way around.

Michelle Wie plays every bit as well against the men as she does against women.

It isn't that no one has heard from Joe Sakic, it might be that everyone has stopped listening.

The USA men's Olympic basketball team can be had. Will be had. Spain. Argentina. Greece. One of those.

Has it really been a year since Barry Bonds hit No. 756? Time flies when you are fighting indictments.

It makes perfect sense that the reward for the Rockies having a poor record is Livan Hernandez, the annual August door prize.

There seems no good reason for Todd Helton to hurry back, no pun intended.

And not because the pronunciation is familiar, but Tim Lincecum deserves the Cy Young. OK, maybe just a little.

If Shanahan forgets how cold a coach can be to a former star player - not likely - he can borrow Green Bay coach Mike McCarthy's explanation to Favre: "The train has left the station." But don't forget to mention that, oh, say, John Lynch, was still one of 80 players.

The Broncos have been very impressive doing calisthenics (Shanahan likes this team), but reality arrives, sort of, with Houston. It is still preseason where two football teams rarely play the same game.

For good or not, the Broncos leadership now falls to Champ Bailey, who is quieter than a bedroom slipper. Someone else from among the very young bunch on both sides of the ball will have to take charge.

Mark Cuban is offering $1.3 billion for the Chicago Cubs. The last time the franchise sold, it went for $22 million, including the ivy.

The Nuggets, anxious to unload Marcus Camby so they can have enough money to re-sign J.R. Smith, aren't exactly moving in the passing lane. But then, neither does Smith.

The Broncos can't kick. Really.

Comments

  • August 9, 2008

    6:30 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    incognitoboy writes:

    so, in order to cut down on the 'bernie smarminess factor', he abandons the one-story-line format and covers the broad spectrum, all for the purpose of giving everyone a small dose of bernie-casm instead of one large heapin' helpin' of irritation to one victim?

    ok then.

  • August 9, 2008

    6:49 p.m.

    Suggest removal

    carryBIGstick writes:

    Should Clint Hurdle not be an Optimist?

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