Child custody cases often suffer from neglect

This Web only Speakout has not been edited.

JoAnn Miller

Published April 8, 2008 at midnight

Text size  

• 5 Comments
• Email
• Print

We read and hear on the radio every day about the shameful situation we have in Colorado concerning our young children.

Thirteen cases where children died of abuse, often cases where there was some knowledge in the system of the abuse, but because of the lack of sufficient social services these cases fell through the cracks. We hear from prominent child psychologists of the danger to young children from the boyfriends of their mothers. How many children are victims of abuse from these men, or from the mothers who should be their protectors, but who, instead are more concerned with the livelihood a man in the house can provide?

The Sunday Post ran an article in the Perspective section written by Betty Miller Updike and Bob Cooper, two professionals in the field of child welfare. The article pointed out a fact that has been in the news more than once lately, that, although Colorado ranks fifth in the nation in wealth and per capita income we have the eighth highest rate of children living in poverty.

Perhaps some of these statistics would read differently if the District Courts of Colorado and the judges who preside over them took their responsibility to these children more seriously. Recently a case was heard in Park County District Court in which a young man, father of three little (4,5 and 7 year olds) girls petitioned the court for custody of his children. The story goes as follows: In July, 2005 this man came home from work to find himself locked out of his house, he was told not to come back. This was a pretty crushing situation, he had no place to live, the little bit of money that had been in his bank account had been taken and he had no furniture. He was lucky in that his family owned a small cabin not far from his work in which he could live. He was emotionally bereft, had ideations of suicide which he knew was not a good thing, went to a psychologist for help and proceeded to try to rebuild his life. He and his wife were divorced, he agreed to a custody arrangement in which the girls would live with their mother because he had no home for them and they were very young.

It shortly became obvious that she was pregnant and that the baby’s father was living with them. The house they were living in is a hundred year old four room house on a ranch in South Park. The woman’s teenage son shares a room with the three girls.

Around the time the baby was born the man moved out, within a few months another man was living with them who stayed about a year and a half.

By now, our young man had rented a nice house in a nice neighborhood, a home for the girls, and petitioned for custody. The Judge in his wisdom denied the petition, denied additional time in the summer months, and raised the child support.

In court this mother bragged about the fact that she lives essentially rent free in this house, is on food stamps and LEAP for propane and meets every other need with his child support (the father of the teenager is unknown and she receives no support from the father of the baby) there is another teenage son who lives with his father and spends summers with them, presumably also sharing that one bedroom. She proudly proclaimed that she stays home 24 hrs a day with her children.

This is a short history of what has happened since summer, 2005. No amount of child support that this young man can pay will lift this woman and her five children out of poverty, whereas, the girls’ father could afford to provide a stable middle class life for them if he had residential custody. He has a supportive extended family and a good job, he lives near the area in which he grew up and has many friends who respect him as a father and who testified in court. The children’s mother had no one to testify for her in court, has little or no support system.

These are the stories our social network is not addressing and sadly, when they do get to court as in this case, they are just as likely to be heard by a judge who, either out of lack of concern or pure laziness does nothing to help.

JoAnn Miller is a resident of Castle Rock.

• April 8, 2008

  7:50 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  vudumom writes:

  She's not going to give up her meal ticket,her children. The type of men she will attract are losers too. They will see her as a meal ticket. She will continue pumping out babies to collect child support if she can. The courts don't care that these children could have a better stable life.They have the mindset that all mothers are good mothers and should be the sole caretakers of children. Everytime she brings another man into the home she is raising the risk of her children being abused mentally,phisically and sexually by men who see her children as not theirs so they can do what they want.Is this a rare situation? Not at all. It happens all the time everyday. Parents wanting their needs met and putting their children in danger so they can be happy with a new partner.It is sickening.

• April 8, 2008

  8:03 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  kathyM writes:

  I second that, vudumom.

• April 8, 2008

  11:03 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  El_Guapo writes:

  I third it.

  The family courts tell us they decide things in the "best interest of the child," which usually means the "best interests of the mom." It's heart-wrenching when children suffer because courts can tell the difference between mom and dad but not between a good parent and a bad parent.

• April 9, 2008

  5:43 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  KRS writes:

  Agree with all posts here. The anti-father bias of the courts is one the greatest tragedies of our time. Children being stripped of their fathers for no reason (i.e. "no fault divorce), and mothers benefitting fromt he system, and innocent children being put in harm's way. Children's best protection from abuse is the presence of their biological father in the home. Yet fathers are routinely kicked out of their children's lives because the courts' thinking is stuck in the middle ages -- mom good, dad bad.

• April 16, 2008

  10:04 a.m.

  Suggest removal

  coloradoaspengirl writes:

  Here's an alternative... Since so many people believe that the courts are biased towards mothers, explain why a 6 year old is reintegrated with his molester and abuser in what Park Co says is "most important" in a child welfare case.."THE LEAST RESTRICIVE RESPONSE'
  Not the safest or best, nor the most appropriate..

Featured

• Holiday movies

  

  Check out our movie page to read reviews and see your holiday options.

• Holiday Lights

  

  Is your house the jolliest on the block? Submit your holiday lights display.

• Mount Crushmore

  

  Which four Broncos greats should be immortalized on Mount Crushmore? Vote here.

• Broncos-Jets Action

  

  Visit our photo galleries for some hard-hitting action photos from Sunday's game.

• Bronco Dean's rant

  

  Listen to Bronco Dean's postgame rant on the Jets.

• Rocky Multimedia

  

  The news comes alive in our videos and slide shows. Catch up on what's happening today.

• Stein's View

  

  Editorial cartoons by Ed Stein

• Holiday Gift Guide

  

  Looking to get a jump-start on the holiday shopping season?

• The Rocky @ 150 Years

  

  Read the Rocky's coverage of Colorado's cannibal, Alfred Packer, in 1886.