300 mourners at gunman's funeral

Themes of love, forgiveness fill Fairmount chapel

By Todd Hartman, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Javier Manzano © The Rocky

Friends and family gather Friday at Fairmount Cemetery to remember Matthew Murray five days after he shot to death four people.

At a funeral for a young man overcome by darkness, on a gray, bitter day that rubbed out the sun, the little brother of the deceased spoke words that brought light to those gathered in despair.

"Even though Satan attacked my brother," Chris Murray said, "I truly feel God is going to save a whole generation of people through this."

The chapel at Fairmount Cemetery echoed with amens, punctuating a sentiment that resonated throughout the memorial service - a call to reach out to those troubled in your life, to do what God sent Jesus to do and "love those in dark places" and to feel the enriching nature of forgiveness.

It was an uplifting call amid the thick fog of grief over nearly 300 people who came to mourn the dead and support a family now crushed. It was Ron and Loretta's son, Chris' brother, a cousin to many, a grandson, an uncle - Matthew John Murray - who gunned down four young lives Sunday in attacks on Christian centers in Arvada and Colorado Springs.

Jarring contrast

"I can tell you we have struggled as a family," said Pastor Phil Abeyta, Murray's uncle, who also presided over the service. "Words can't begin to describe the depth of our despair."

Matthew Murray, 24 at his death, lay inside a silvery blue casket topped with blue and white carnations. On either side a line of bouquets - of roses and orchids and more carnations in a rainbow of colors. Behind the casket: three Christmas trees, aglow with snowflakes, angels and candy canes.

It was a jarring contrast, holiday joy and unfathomable pain side by side. It was a contrast much like Murray himself, a young man overtaken by violence and remembered so fondly in anecdotes at the service.

A little boy who could outrun anyone on the soccer field, who practiced quick-signing his signature in preparation for giving autographs as a major leaguer. A whip-smart kid who checked out library books by the stack, could assemble puzzles with the picture side face-down, beat older relatives at chess and grew savvy at computer repairs.

A prankster who entertained relatives and once outlined a fictional plot to his younger brother that involved commandeering a miniature passenger train running through a public park "so we could get all that yellow gold," Chris recalled, drawing laughter from the mourning.

A caring family member, who - time and again - was someone who worried so when those around him were sick, bringing them water, staying at their homes to keep them company, often checking on them. Just in the past month, when his mom hurt her neck, he told her to go to the doctor and get some rest.

"We love Matthew with all our hearts," wrote his mother, in comments read by a relative. "Just as his name means 'gift of God,' he was totally a gift of God to us."

Reaching out

Abeyta, in recounting the "horrific ordeal" of recent days, rejoiced in what to many has been a surprising turn: expressions of forgiveness for Matthew and his family from the families of two victims killed in the rampage in Arvada.

Abeyta described a private meeting Wednesday between Ron and Loretta Murray and relatives of the victims: "Wails of pain and crying . . . as the families united in hugs, tears and prayer.

"What is most amazing were the words from the (victims' families): 'We have nothing to forgive (you for), and we forgive Matthew,' " he said.

"I don't know about you, but that shook me to the core," Abeyta said.

Upon returning home, Abeyta said the Murray family "committed ourselves to finish the work of those young people who had given their lives - and to reach out to people just like Matthew."

He implored mourners to do the same, from simple acts such as letting someone cut you off in traffic, to far more difficult: picking up the phone to call neglected family, for "fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives" to come together in love, to "start a revival of hope and forgiveness."

"Reach out to those around us, and look to the dark places and search out the people like Matthew," he said, "that need to know this love and grace and forgiveness."

hartmant@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-954-5048

• December 15, 2007

  2:42 a.m.

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  redstaterebelsgirl writes:

  First and foremost, I will say that my thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of those who were killed in this horrific tragedy. It's truly amazing how those families and friends are offering forgiveness to the shooter. I can't say that I would be so quick to offer that forgiveness. I'm sure that others could say the same. I think that if more of us could offer that forgiveness, it would make a total difference in the world.

• December 15, 2007

  7:21 a.m.

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  forwhatitis writes:

  And where were these 300 mourners when Matthew was showing signs of problem behavior? None of them knew he had these guns, assault rifle!!!, correct? He was a perfect child, correct? Give me a break. Yeah, let's just blame the devil. "The Devil made him do it" Puke.

• December 15, 2007

  8:08 a.m.

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  A2Z writes:

  Let's go back 18-24 mos - have any of you read Matthew's writings? Yes you can see the pain but did you listen? He believed he saw many inequities and iniquities since he was a small child - with no explaination or conversation from "adults" he interpretted these things from his perspective. Left to dark side, the dark side gave him more than enough reasons to feel the pain he felt. It twisted inside him like an illness, a cancer of confusion. Anything painful generates a fear, the fear then gives birth to hate. Is anyone talking to the young people of their community? Listen to them. Many are frightened and angered of the "adults" they see and hear. What they hear is "Don't do this or that" - then they watch as those same adults DO THIS AND THAT. The old adage "do as I say not as I do" is a slap in the face of our young. The adults need to practice what they preach. Talk to these young people, help them to get through this very complex life we are all experiencing in the 21st century. It isn't simple anymore. Father Knows Best and Donna Reed are just TV. The youth of today face many challenges the adults never even dreamed of 15-20 years ago. Matthew's uncle is right - go and talk with them - don't expect them to get in line with you though - listen and help them understand. They still need rules and parameters for living, love with strength not blind eyes. Pray with and for them all. God listens, gives strength and forgives.

• December 15, 2007

  8:15 a.m.

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  forwhatitis writes:

  His writings tell the truth. Anyone raised as he was is likely to crack as well. Here is some of what he wrote before his rampage:

  "Yeah Diamond girl, when I was a teenager my mother would do a pat down to check for music, DVDs and video games whenever I came out of an electronics store like Best Buy or Circuit City. I’d still obtain things anyways, it was like getting drugs from a drug dealer, EVERYTHING had to be done in secret. lol
  I remember getting thrown around the room and hit while getting interrogated about whether or not I had video games and DVDs. Then there were the constant interrogations by the church pastors. @#%$ hypocrites.
  I remember having to listen to everything in secret, at very low volume levels or with headphones, whether it was video games, TV, DVDs, or music/radio. Every day was like Mission Impossible, as even ONE mis-step and it could be all over.
  My mother would search EVERYWHERE on a regular basis. You’d have thought I was hiding methamphetamines(which her favorite pastor, Ted Haggard was found guilty of) or something serious….but it was all over DVDs, Cds, and video games, the issue of drug abuse or the like never came up. And when she confiscated something, she’d almost never tell me. She’d always pretend like she had no idea what I was talking about, until I had her cornered with evidence….so much for “Liars go to the lake of fire.”
  Edited by: nghtmrchld26 at: 3/16/07 7:28 am"

• December 15, 2007

  12:56 p.m.

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  stellalou writes:

  My heart goes out to the families of the victims and also to the family of the troubled young man that went on this rampage. Where is the outrage about military type guns on our streets?

  I think the ban should be put back for these weapons. This man acted like these young people were his enemies.
  Could he have joined the military and went to war in Iraq? To be afraid in the United States to go to your church of choice, shopping or just get off a school bus and be fired on??

  Thank God that Jeanne Assam was there to stop Matthew. I don't think he expected an armed guard at a church.

  I live in the Colorado Springs area and I have to tell you I am looking around, wondering if there are any other troubled people that might take a shot at us.

  Maybe, we should be giving bullet proof vests for gifts this year. May your God watch over and protect you and yours.