Neighborly etiquette

By Jay Dedrick, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published October 22, 2005 at midnight

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Whether you're building from the ground up or remodeling, there's etiquette to follow with neighbors. Here's conflict-prevention strategy from Steve Charbonneau and Lowrey Mumford of Community Mediation Concepts, a contractor providing neighborhood mediation services to Denver and other metro municipalities:

* Put yourself in their shoes: "Neighbors want to know what kind of house is going up," Charbonneau says. "If you're popping the top, how will it look? Are you going to save the trees? How will construction affect drainage? There are a thousand questions raised." If your project is involved, provide the neighbors some detail in writing, Mumford says. A formal document isn't necessary, but a written timeline of expected activity is useful.

* Get talking: "If you know you're going to be changing the face of the land — whether it's a new house, a scrape-off, a pop-top or a remodel — let the neighbors know so there aren't surprises," Charbonneau says. Personalize it: "The more personal you can be in that initial contact, the better," Charbonneau says. "If I can catch the neighbor while he's mowing the grass and stop by and talk, it's much better that way. If that doesn't work, try the telephone."

* Build a bridge: "Neighbors have to be willing to talk to each other. Responsibility for that goes both ways," Charbonneau says. "Part of that first conversation is the agreement that you're going to keep checking in. It's the responsibility of the person building to check in once a week: 'Anything we need to talk about?' It's also the responsibility of the neighbors impacted. If they see something that's not working for them, they need to say something — not store up these bits of frustration and then unload them."

* Always listen: Even if you can't — or won't — change your plans, hear your neighbors out. "If you talk to them and listen, it empowers the neighbor so much more," Mumford says. "As mediators, we try to empower people. Mediation is a great service, but if we all talked up front, we'd all be better off."

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