Thorn: 'Welcome: You've got books' in daily e-doses

Published March 18, 2006 at midnight

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As if I didn't have enough e-mails to deal with before this, from all those needy Nigerians asking me to deposit money for them in a special bank account.

Now, I had so many incoming missives, I felt like ducking every time I logged onto my computer. The unread e-mails were piling up in my inbox like underwear in a hamper, leftovers in the fridge, newspapers in the driveway . . . you get the idea.

It was all Scott Wolf's fault, of course.

I had promised him I would give his brilliant new reading idea a try. And now the guilt of ignoring the very e-mails I had requested was bearing down on me, silent and deadly, as if my mother were standing behind me, arms crossed and clucking.

Wolf is president and CEO of ArcaMax Publishing, a company based in Virginia that sends daily e-mails to subscribers, who can choose from a variety of family-friendly content. Some get a daily dose of Garfield, others of Dear Abby, and so on. It's all free. Ads on the site pay for the venture.

A few months ago, the company added classic books to its offerings and Wolf called to fill me in. They had 500 titles, he said, and had broken down each book into about 2,000-word segments - roughly the equivalent of one chapter. Subscribers get one segment each day.

Why would anyone want to read like this?

Some subscribers are simply used to getting "content," as he calls it, online. "We're never going to replace the library," Wolf admitted, but for those readers plugged into a high-tech life, it's a natural fit. "I think there are people who have simply built their lives around computers."

There are also those who are housebound and can't get to the library. And others who like the idea of a book doled out in digestible portions. (If you read the Bible this way, for example, you'll be finished in a year, says Wolf.) Since ArcaMax started its classics venture, 20,000 people have signed on. Not bad, but to attract a solid advertising base, the company is aiming for 100,000.

And that's where I come in. Wolf wanted to know: Would I like to try (and possibly write about) the service?

Would I? My little brain lit up like Times Square.

Imagine! Only one snippet a day, and I could tackle all kinds of books I'd been avoiding. Before I knew it, I'd conquer War and Peace. I'd hook Moby Dick! I'd . . . well, let's just say I told Wolf to sign me up.

And before I could say star- crossed courtship, the first chapter of Pride and Prejudice appeared in my inbox. Ignoring all the e-mails that had poured in overnight, I clicked it open with the relish of a housewife tuning into The View while letting the dirty dishes wait.

A mere 10 minutes later, filled with the self-satisfaction that comes from improving the mind - not to mention wasting the bosses' time - I clicked off with renewed strength to face the day . . . and that annoying in box.

The next morning, things go just as well. I learn that the Bennet girls will soon meet rich bachelor Mr. Bingley. And somehow the anticipation of their encounter fortifies me to refuse, yet again, to help those persistent Nigerians in any way.

Day Three, I stumble just slightly. Chapter 3 is longer, and while the plot is thickening nicely, I can't help feeling that my work is mounting while I dally over the story. I read fast, trying to catch the important plot developments without lingering over Mr. Bingley and his disagreeable friend, Mr. Darcy. But honestly, I don't savor the nuances, but instead skim right over them.

From there, it goes like this:

Day Four: Too busy to read the new chapter. No problem. I print it out, planning to catch up at home.

Day Five: Ditto.

Day Six and Seven (the weekend): Glorious free time! I plan to read the chapters I've printed out at my leisure, sometime in the next 48 hours. I even lay them on the bedroom floor as a reminder. Ingeniously, though, I walk right over them instead - several times, in fact - causing the pages to fly out of order. This, in turn, causes me to avoid reading them even more, as now I will have to put them back in order before I can start.

Day Eight: Back to work, where I'm greeted with three more chapters in my inbox: two that were sent during the weekend and the Monday daily dose.

Let's just say this isn't going as well as I'd hoped. And by the end of week two, I'm starting to hyperventilate every time I see the ArcaMax tagline glaring at me from my inbox. There are nine unopened chapters - and more coming every day. A veritable Mount Everest of unread words.

Even at this rate, I might have caught up. I might have marshaled all my willpower, picked up the Bennets where I left them and managed to read all 61 segments.

I might have, that is, if the fates hadn't conspired against me. Alas, what happens next is so unfair as to make Mr. Darcy's spurning of the fair Elizabeth Bennet seem like so much trivia.

I get the flu. The "stay in bed watch Maury Povich and feel sorry for myself" flu.

And when I return to work, five days later, I open my inbox to find five more chapters begging to be read. In a moment of startling, possibly fever-induced clarity, I know just what to do: I create a folder in which to drag all the unopened Pride and Prejudice e-mails and get them out of my sight.

Some cynics might call this a defeat. Not me.

First of all, I still love Wolf's concept. For the more, ahem, disciplined among us, it's a great way to tackle the classics. And here's the clincher: After I explained my inability to keep up, Wolf gave me a critical tip. If a person falls behind, all he has to do is call up the book online, go back to the chapter where he left off, then click the update option. The computer will send all new emails from the indicated spot. Likewise, if a person wants to read ahead, he'll find the whole book online and can also click the update option to reset his place in the book. It's a patented technology that ArcaMax realized would be crucial to the success of the venture.

Who knew?

I just might try again, on my home computer, where I can read more leisurely. But first, I have a little cleaning to do. I plan to pick the scattered papers off my bedroom floor, tame my overflowing inbox and plow through the work that's been stacking up since this whole thing began.

And if you believe that, I know a few Nigerians who would love to make your acquaintance.

Classic requests

Check out Arcamax's free classics books offerings at www.arca max.com. The site's top 10 requested classics are:

• Folklore and Legends from Scotland, Anonymous

• The Best American Humorous Short Stories, Various

• Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen

• The Troll Garden and Selected Stories, Willa Cather

• Selections from the Principles of Philosophy, Rene Descartes

• The Canterbury Tales, Geoffrey Chaucer

• Aesop's Fables, Aesop

• The Story of a Monkey on a Stick, Laura Lee Hope

• Around the World in Eighty Days, Jules Verne