Saunders: Celebs worthy of great gifts

Monday, December 26, 2005

Sandy, our Portuguese water dog, is sleeping soundly by the fireplace today. She's completely worn out from her Christmas assignment as a reindog who pulled a sled full of gifts for broadcasting celebrities.

But I'm still in a giving mood, so a few gifts are in order:

• Wolf Blitzer - A cot, a coffee pot and a miniature stove to help him survive his seemingly around-the- clock schedule on CNN.

• Howard Stern - A year's supply of mouthwash. (This is an annual gift, which he never uses).

• James Spader and William Shatner of Boston Legal - A lifetime supply of cigars and brandy.

• Geena Davis - Copies of all the books written about Hillary Clinton.

• FX programming executives - A citation, in the form of an old cablegram, for airing compelling dramas The Shield, Over There and Rescue Me.

• Elizabeth Vargas - A weekend retreat at the Broadmoor with Barbara Walters and Connie Chung to gain pointers on how to work with male co-anchors.

• Local high school and college students interested in broadcast journalism - Tickets to Good Night, and Good Luck.

• Keith Olbermann - A dose of humility and an uninterrupted TV debate with Bill O'Reilly.

• Bill O'Reilly - A double dose of humility and a Denver outlet for his national radio show.

• Matthew Fox of Lost - An electric razor.

• Tony Shalhoub of Monk fame - A healthy shot of Jack Daniel's in a dirty glass.

• Alan Colmes - A feed-store gift certificate to supply his needs as Fox News' straw man on Hannity and Colmes.

• Dan Rather - A regular reporting job on the CBS Evening News.

• Cast members of Fox's Prison Break - A DVD collection of old James Cagney prison movies.

• Matt LeBlanc - A DVD collection of Friends episodes plus a recording of The Way We Were.

• Katie Couric - A huge filing cabinet to house all the pro and con stories written about her in 2005.

• Athletes who give TV and radio interviews - Another year's supply of "you know . . . you know" comments.

• Steffan Tubbs - A replica of a '30s-era KOA microphone honoring him as local radio's best newscaster.

• Ted Koppel - A successful documentary career on HBO or wherever he'll work.

• Jon Stewart - A one-on-one interview with President Bush.

• Divorcing couple Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey - Autographed copies of their recently released DVD "love fest" series as their court settlement.

• David Letterman - A high-profile guest who doesn't have a book, TV show, movie or Broadway show to promote.

• KKFN radio's Joe Williams - An autographed picture of Nebraska coach Bill Callahan.

• Martha Stewart - Guest appearances on Desperate Housewives, portraying a meddlesome homemaker.

Two post-Christmas gifts for viewers are on the schedule this week:

• For football fans - The final ABC Monday Night Football contest airs tonight with pregame commentary from Dandy Don Meredith (on tape) and Frank Gifford, two former MNF broadcasters. And Meredith will croon his famous The Party's Over (also taped) at the end of the Patriots-Jets contest.

What's missing? An appearance by Joe Namath, a short-lived MNF commentator (1985), who was the Jets' star against the Browns in the first game aired, Sept. 21, 1970. (Cleveland won 31-21).

• For entertainment fans - The 27th annual Kennedy Center Honors (8 p.m. Tuesday, CBS 4) remains the classiest awards show.

This year's honorees: Robert Redford, Tina Turner, Tony Bennett, Julie Harris and ballerina Susanne Farrell. They'll be saluted by a variety of entertainers and dignitaries.

TODAY'S NOSTALGIA: Dec. 26, 1964, ABC aired a holiday drama, Carol for Another Christmas, starring Peter Sellers (in his U.S. TV debut) Ben Gazzara, Sterling Hayden and Eve Marie Saint.

Dusty Saunders is the broadcasting critic. Saunders@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-892-5137