Lincicome: Revival due to more than church and stats

Friday, June 2, 2006

When, inevitably, the Rockies settle into their natural position as either footstool or doormat, somewhere down there at the bottom of things, the judgment will be that someone up there does not, after all, like them.

This would be the expected explanation since, so far, the Rockies' uncommon accomplishment, which is still looking up, has been offered as the result of divine attention.

Whereas the wise motto might be In Todd We Trust, rather than something similar, anything that helps cannot be all bad.

Better piety than steroids, better faith than deceit. I mean, if we're making choices here.

Baseball is very ecumenical, relying over the years on a variety of powers, such as faith in urine as a hand cream and sleeping with a lucky bat, or anything else that might help.

The game is full of curses and myths and tests of trust, not necessarily in a higher order but in the possibility of hitting a round ball with a round bat 30 percent of the time. That takes faith.

Just as Albert Einstein once assumed that God does not play dice with the universe, neither would it seem he helps turn the 6-4-3 double play.

Still, when one thinks of the Chicago Cubs, it is possible to believe that something supernatural is certainly holding a grudge.

The point is, the wise try to keep on the good side of everything.

So if this helps, what does it hurt? Other than opposite dugout smirks, or irreverent columnists, where's the scorn? Scoff away, the best revenge is staying above .500.

The flurry of denials of a national story depicting the Rockies as good people is maybe the strangest disclaimer ever. Decency be damned, to paraphrase, the Rockies are as seedy as the next guy.

This is covering all the bases, just in case propriety goes into a slump.

Nowhere in baseball's constitution - nor, in fact, is there a baseball constitution - does it require a separation of church and stats.

What an odd combination of elements are the Rockies, the altitude, the humidor and the holy . . .

No, I can't go that far. This is too silly. This is Da Vinci Code silly. Still, if it works . . .

Here's how this thing gets legs. Rockies were bad. Rockies are better. Why?

The publication responsible for finding out is the same sheet that, when putting out its preseason projections, ignored the Rockies altogether. From disregard to hallucination, USA Today now considers it even.

And what an insult it is to the Rockies, and how superficial of Dan O'Dowd and Charlie Monfort to allow the notion, or for Clint Hurdle to reinforce it, since it means there is no design to their design but merely spiritual indulgence.

And here we thought it was home-growing the future, or whatever the latest plan was. All along it was something much more pious.

Credit should go to the young pitchers who have exceeded expectations (succeeding on a wing and prayer?), the more mature middle relief, a dependable closer and the HAH! in the middle of the lineup, that being Holliday, Atkins and Hawpe.

There is this and there is Helton, less than usual but looming like summer. Whatever touch of fate laid Helton low earlier and set him back can't be excused as working in mysterious ways because there is too much medical evidence of what happened.

As far as is so far obvious, these Rockies seem as pleasant and decent as represented, if a little thin at the top of the order.

It is surely no accident that these Rockies have been assembled as a like category of humans, visibly lacking in variety and color, as indistinguishable as slices of bread, but to assign the Rockies' success to a higher power, that is strangely what is missing, the kind of higher power that once made Coors Field a catapult for baseballs.

Just as no apology is ever needed for character and conscience, so is no exaggeration required to explain simple physics: See the ball, hit the ball.

Thanking the man upstairs is an old baseball tradition, but he is generally the official scorer.

When I consider recent slogans for teams, "Believe It," comes to mind, and I cannot remember exactly where I saw that one. In hockey, I think. Believe what? Whatever helps. Could be God, could be Todd.

This does not match the most popular catch phrase of the day, "Just Do It," from the shoe people, but it is safely secular.

lincicomeb@RockyMountainNews.com