Go to the mobile version of this Web site.

Login | Contact Us | Site Map | Paid archives | Electronic edition | Subscription Questions | Extras

Q&A with Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld

Published December 16, 2005 at midnight

Text size  

More More Sports

More stories »

Q: Could you comment on your personal experience in youth sports?



Rosenfeld: I'm in private practice in Greenwich and Manhattan. I hear and live these stories.



My daughter was first in a seven-state gymnastics tournament when she was 9. Why she needed to travel seven states to compete against other 9-year-olds, I don't know. We sort of felt she was in a cult; we worked very hard to get her out. (People say) she's not going to get a college scholarship . . . blah, blah, blah.

We asked her to take a month off, take part in a theater production in a (local) church and then, if she wanted, go back to gymnastics. After a week, we were startled; we noticed something unusual. For the first time in a year, we saw her smile.

One time I gave a talk, and afterward a woman came up to me and said, "Thanks so much. I tried out for the Olympic gymnastics team; I was the last person cut, and it broke my heart. At 32, I had both my shoulders replaced."

You shouldn't do that to any kid.



Q: Are mothers spending too much time driving their children to practices, games, etc?



Rosenfeld: The most educated generation of women has been degraded into being chauffeurs. Mothers with Masters and Ph.D. degrees . . .



Q: Do parents need to expand their horizons?



Rosenfeld: We're the best-educated generation ever. When we were younger, we were concerned with politics, music, art . . . So why do they give kids the sense that all they can discuss seriously are strollers, kids' schedules and activities?



Q: Do you see parents picking sports and activities that might help their children get into Ivy League schools?



Rosenfeld: Put it this way: There are plenty of rowing clubs springing up around here.



One girl wanted to get into Brown. Her mother told her that the French horn was her ticket, so she practiced throughout high school. During her Brown interview, the interviewer asked her a question about the French horn. She thought it was her big moment. But he quickly moved on, and she thought was it. But never doubt a mother's prescience.

Later the interviewer noticed that the girl was also a recreational ice skater. He looked at her, and asked, "Do you think you could play the French horn on ice?" She laughed because she was sure he was kidding her. But he wasn't kidding; he told her that they needed a French horn player for their ice hockey support band.

So I guess her mother was right. She got into Brown.

Q: Clearly, you don't believe in following the Tiger Woods model of child-rearing?



Rosenfeld: Albert Einstein did poorly at school. (Today) he'd probably get a comprehensive evaluation and end up on Ritalin. He might not discover the theory of relativity, but he'd definitely do better in fourth-grade math.

Leonard Bernstein didn't start playing the piano until 10; George Gershwin specialized in being a child hoodlum. Apparently, he was pretty successful.



Alvin Rosenfeld, a graduate of Cornell University and the Harvard University Medical School, spends his time in the private practice of child and adult psychiatry in New York City and Greenwich, Conn. He co-chairs the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry's Committee on Adoption and Foster Care and is an academic advisor to the Better Business Bureau's Children's Advertising Review Unit, which sets media and industry standards on children's advertising for television, magazines and the Internet. He has been included in The Best Doctors in America, Who's Who in Health Care and How to Find the Best Doctors in New York. He won the 2005 Catcher in the Rye Award from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for advocating on children's behalf. He is the author of more than 70 professional articles on child abuse, sexual rearing styles, psychotherapy, foster care, and historical issues and has written five books, including Hyper-Parenting, which he co-wrote with Nicole Wise, and which in 2001 was issued as a paperback, The Over-Scheduled Child. Dr. Rosenfeld lives with his wife and three children. He is founder of a grass roots movement, National Family Night (www.nationalfamilynight.org), which is devoted to rebalancing family priorities.