Masterminds still need minions

Dave Christie, Special to the News

Published September 24, 2006 at midnight

Text size

More Denver Broncos

Editor's note: These would-be columnists were whittled down from 146 hopefuls in our Last Columnist Typing contest. One columnist is eliminated per week — a la Survivor — until one is left at the NFL season's end. The winner will cover an event alongside the pros.

More columns and details

The stage was set. A no-holds-barred cranial grudge match between the two masterminds. Mano a mano. Actually, cerebro a cerebro.

Mike Shanahan and Bill Belichick are revered by the media and NFL fans as the Einsteins of the gridiron. Judging from the talent on the field, one of these geniuses was bringing a knife to a gunfight.

But let’s start from the beginning. Before the kickoff. At some point Sunday afternoon, Belichick was undoubtedly scrambling around the house trying to find something to wear. After all, we’re talking about a nationally televised Sunday night game here. Gotta look good, right?

Wrong. The man apparently goes to the hamper, finds a gray hoodie and sniffs the armpits. "Still good." While walking to the car, he realizes it’s not as cool as he thought. He then goes back in, cuts off the sleeves, and heads to the stadium.

Meanwhile, Shanahan shows up for the game in a brand new Broncos track suit, looking like a mathlete who wants the girls to know that he’s still got game. Advantage: Shanahan.

Sorry. I digress.

Belichick’s 50-gallon drum of magic dust has seemed bottomless. Run out of healthy cornerbacks? Just throw a wide receiver back there, and you’re fine. Year after year, Patriots on both sides of the ball would drop like flies and Belichick’s proprietary blend of duct tape-and-bubble gum MacGyverism kept the New England machine chugging down the road to playoff appearances and championships.

The Patriots are now beginning to see that Belichick’s coaching ability has its limits. Eking out wins against the Bills and Jets gave New England a 2-0 record but also hinted that these are not the same old Patriots. Old, yes, but maybe not as good.

Masterminds need talented minions to carry out their schemes of evil genius. Shanahan had such a clear advantage in this category that it left Belichick with nothing to do but yank on the front of his beloved sweatshirt.

The Patriots offense looked downright desperate against the Broncos defense. Flea-flickers, fake reverses and the "no-huddle" are in every NFL playbook. New England was frantically flailing them all at the Broncos in an effort to find some way into the end zone. They eventually got there after four minutes of dinking and dunking in the fourth quarter. By that time the Patriots’ fans had already slumped over face-first into their chowder.

Meanwhile, Shanahan removed the childproof cap from his offense. Plummer was free to wing it three times from deep in his own territory. Admit it, you were holding your breath. Shanahan’s face matched his track suit. But Jake went 3-for-3, including an 83-yard touchdown pass to Javon Walker, and all of Broncoland could not only breathe, but scream with joy.

The Battle Mastermind was over. Shanahan prevailed, but both of these Einsteins know the equation to win in the NFL is V = st2. Victory equals scheme times talent squared. Belichick is running low on the "t."

Subscribe to the Rocky Mountain News