History not on Branch's side

Robb Kluttz, Special to the News

Published September 8, 2006 at midnight

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Editor's note: These reader-penned columns were whittled down from 146 entries in our Last Columnist Typing contest. One columnist is eliminated per week — a la Survivor — until one is left at the NFL season's end. The winner will cover an event alongside the pros.

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Try to imagine for a moment that you're married to Jennifer Aniston. I know it may seem like a stretch, but try to work with me here for a minute. So not only are you married to Aniston, but she also cooks like Rachael Ray, cleans like a swarm of Brady Bunch's Alices, and every night with her is like a conjugal visit.

Starting to get the picture?

Let's also say that you start to think that your marriage is getting a little stale. You're not feeling appreciated like you think you should. So you voice your concerns and she gives you a week, carte blanche, to try to find something better. Check out some other women and see if you can cut a more attractive deal.

Sound implausible? It's not. That's the exact situation Deion Branch found with the New England Patriots; consistent Super Bowl contenders, All-World quarterback, class organization and high-character teammates. There are only a few players around this league with more enviable surroundings. Yet Branch, in the final year of a five-year contract, felt unappreciated. Wanting to be paid like a top-flight receiver and already spurning a $20 million contract extension, he has followed the path of countless receivers before him — holding out.

However, there is a significant difference between Branch and couch-bound cohorts — production. Javon Walker caught 89 passes for almost 1,400 yards in the year preceding his holdout. Terrell Owens had 1,200 yards and 14 touchdowns prior to his holdout.

Branch? 78 passes for 998 yards, a career year for him. He's never had a thousand-yard season. He's never scored more than five touchdowns. He's never averaged more than 14.1 yards per catch. Take away his standout Super Bowl performances, and he's nothing more than Antonio Bryant or Peerless Price. He's Timmy Smith without the rap sheet.

Branch would be wise to pay heed to some other examples of holdout futility. NFL history is littered with marginal players who needlessly played Russian Roulette and lost. It took Joey Galloway five years to recover from an ill-conceived holdout. Bobby Humphrey never recovered. Heck, Ashley Lelie will pay for his holdout all season long, literally and figuratively. I'll make more money NOT catching passes in the NFL than Lelie will.

Deion Branch is facing two pretty good options and a single really bad one. He can sign the Pats extension and continue his good-but-not-great career. He can also play out the last year of his current contract and cash in as a free agent next year. Or he can hold out and throw his future into a death spiral of uncertainty and chaos.

There are only so many Jennifer Anistons out there.

Raised in Grand Junction but banished to Cleveland as a teenager, Robb is 34 and currently works as a quality assurance representaitve. His favorite Broncos memory: Being handed a beer by Larry Walker (yes, THAT Larry Walker) after John Mobley knocked down Brett Favre's fourth-down pass to ensure the Broncos' Buper Bowl XXXII victory.

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