Parker: 'Denver Stories' takes some pokes at renowned folks

By Penny Parker, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published May 11, 2007 at midnight

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Denver Stories, Curious Theatre Company's theatrical shout-out to some of our local characters, opened and closed to a sold-out crowd with a one-night only performance on Wednesday.

In the second year of this series of vignettes, Curious tapped tales from Westword's Patty Calhoun, drama king Bob Garner, super chef Troy Guard, former mayoral mouthpiece Andrew Hudson and do-gooder Judi Wolf. The stories lampooned the lives of some of this city's favorite folks.

For reasons not clear to me, Calhoun was portrayed as Annie Oakley on acid - a braid-swinging pistol-packing mama (loaded with a water gun) who peppered her language with lots of ain'ts and tweren'ts. I have known Calhoun ever since I got here nearly 14 years ago and I've never heard the Cornell grad say ain't or tweren't. There was, however, an apropos version of Home on the Range with new lyrics, Home at the Bar.

Bob Garner's Gaga Galleria was set to the song One from A Chorus Line. The story chronicled Denver's pioneering producer's work with difficult divas such as Judy Garland, Marlene Dietrich and Katherine Hepburn.

It seemed premature to tell chef Troy Guard's "story," since Guard is only 30-something and hasn't been in Denver long. But, hey, "They needed someone to cater the event," Guard said. His vignette (Kill Dill) painted Guard as the "grasshopper" to chef Roy Yamaguchi's kung fu master. Guard cut his culinary teeth under Yamaguchi's tutelage.

Former Mayor Wellington Webb spokesman and former Frontier flyboy Andrew Hudson relived some of his DIA opening and Y2K nightmares in The Spin Man. "You won't have that win if you don't have that spin," was sung to the tune of You Ain't Got a Thing If You Ain't Got That Swing. Hudson provided accompaniment by playing bass on stage.

The big finish needed a big personality with big hair. Little Red Do Some Good starred Wolf as her bigger-than-life self, dressed in a sexy red get-up.

"Always understated, that's my motto," she said. "You didn't think I was really going to wear a riding hood? What, and mess up my hair?"

The lyrics to the pop song Little Red Riding Hood were changed to Little Red Ride 'Em Good. Wolf didn't even blush.

HEY, Y'ALL: Just back from Jazz Fest in The Big Easy. Outstanding acts we saw: Irma Thomas singing a salute to Mahalia Jackson, Allen Toussaint, Stephen Marley, Steely Dan (where we ran into Volunteers of America honcho Jim White) and Harry Connick Jr.

Good eats: Cochon and Herbsaint (owned by chef Donald Link, who just won a James Beard Award), Muriel's Jackson Square and (to die for) Restaurant August owned by John Besh. Besh, a frequent Food Network guest, helped judge the Food Network Challenge: Mac 'n' Cheese competition that was won by our own Frank Bonanno (Mizuna, Luca D'Italia). That episode airs Sept. 9.

THE SEEN: Giants' big batter Barry Bonds lunching at Kona Grill on Thursday.

EAVESDROPPING on a woman at Denver Stories: "Denver would be a boring place if not for people like Judi Wolf. She certainly enjoys her figure."

Penny Parker's column appears Tuesday through Saturday. Listen to her on the Caplis and Silverman radio show between 4 and 5 p.m. Fridays on KHOW-AM (630). Call her at 303-954-5224 or e-mail parkerp@RockyMountainNews.com.

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