Parker: At this Arapahoe County roast, GOP to stand for Gig the Ol' Pol

By Penny Parker, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published September 22, 2006 at midnight

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Some would call Mort Marks the Republican Party's biggest booster since man started walking upright. And they wouldn't be far off. Marks, 81, has been raising money for local, state and national elephants for eons. Just ask him.

Knowing that, the Arapahoe County Republicans asked their big booster with the big mouth (and I say that with all due respect), to put his ego and sense of humor on the line during a rousing roast, starting at 6 p.m. Thursday at the Radisson Hotel Southeast, I-225 and Parker Road. Reservations (they'll take your money, no matter your political party) at 303-368-9019.

"Don't you think it's a shame they would take a nice subdued guy like me and insult me?" Mort said, stifling a chuckle. "Is this what the country's coming to? I will cry if they hurt my feelings . . . at least that's what I'm going to tell them."

But his mock protest will fall on deaf ears. Among the roasters: Gov. Bill Owens, Sen. Tom Tancredo (via videotape), gubernatorial candidate Bob Beauprez (also not in person), treasurer Mike Coffman, Sen. Nancy Spence, former Senate prez John Andrews, Rep. Joe Stengel and Cool River Cafe GM Joe Madril.

Any donkeys?

"I don't know any Democrats," Marks fibbed. "Oh yes, I do know one - Hickenlooper - he's the only Democrat I know."

Marks is ready for whatever verbal bullets and arrows the conservative crew fires. "Hey, they think they're going to zing me, but I'm going to zing them right back."

WHAT'S THE BEEF? Morton's co-founder Klaus Fritsch reveled in the spotlight Wednesday night during a promotion for his new book, Morton's Steak Bible. Since Fritsch had lived in Evergreen for six years before moving back to Morton's HQ in Chicago, more than 100 friends, fans and former neighbors showed for the sip, snack and schmooze fest at the LoDo steak place.

The hearty party was swimming along smoothly until the wife of a former GM showed up unannounced. She greeted Fritsch, had her books signed, then sidled alongside a server and started muttering obscenities under her breath.

The server was speechless, and an attendee who witnessed the incident was stunned. It seems that the wife has a beef with the server, whom the wife claims was partly responsible for her husband's departure. But that was steers and steers ago, and the server says it ain't so.

WHACKY WAITERS: A ton of bold-facers will work for tips, which will all go to Concerts For Kids, during a special event beginning at 5 p.m. Friday at Elway's.

Cute couple Barry and Arlene Hirschfeld will serve as host and hostess for the evening, and try to keep the festivities flowing. Select your server from: CBS 4 folks Walt DeHaven, Jim Benemann, Molly Hughes or Reggie Rivers; hotelier Walter Isenberg; snappy dresser Craig Andrisen; gadfly Josh Hanfling; Theatres and Arenas honcho Jack Finlaw; PR princess Wendy Aiello; ravishing Realtor Andi Smith, or big-city booster Richard Scharf.

Reservations: Jennifer, 303-399-5353. Proceeds support local children's charities.

EAVESDROPPING on a guest at the Morton's Steak Bible book-signing event, who said she intended to buy the book even though the party was free: "I may be a freeloader, but I'm not a cheapskate."

Penny Parker's column appears Tuesday through Saturday. Listen to her on the Caplis and Silverman radio show between 4 and 5 p.m. Fridays on KHOW-AM (630). Call her at 303-954-5224 or e-mail parkerp@RockyMountainNews.com.

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