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Littwin: Holtzman belief system going into overtime

By Mike Littwin, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published June 3, 2006 at midnight

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I drank the Kool-Aid.

I went to Marc Holtzman's office Friday to see what he was serving up. I took a sip. And now - gulp - I believe, too.

Or I should say this: I believe that he believes.

In Holtzman's world - and you have to walk through the looking glass to get there - believing that you believe seems to be belief enough.

Confused? Of course, you're confused. The white knight is talking backward. And the red queen's off with her head, as the lyrics go.

So let me clear one thing up. For those who thought and/or hoped the Republican gubernatorial primary race was over - and Bill Owens, friend and mentor to all, you know who you are - it's not.

Holtzman will not go away.

I don't know how anyone missed that. What defines Holtzman's campaign is its refusal to go away.

You can pick your own metaphor for Holtzman's staying power. I used a stake to the heart the other day. His opponents undoubtedly prefer the image of the cockroach surviving a nuclear blast.

Still, I can see where you might have been tempted to think this was the end. The headline - and also Secretary of State Gigi Dennis - said that Holtzman hadn't collected enough valid signatures to qualify for the Republican primary.

A previous headline said he had failed to qualify at the Republican assembly.

At some point, it began to look like Holtzman would have a better chance of qualifying for American Idol than for the Colorado governor's race.

And yet.

You can ask what it is about the word over that Holtzman doesn't understand. Holtzman will answer: everything.

OK, some think he's delusional. Others think he's paranoid and delusional.

It's possible he's just so angry with Bill Owens and Bob Beauprez and Bruce Benson and the rest of the state's Republican establishment that he can't see how hopeless his situation has become.

There's another possibility, though: He actually has a case.

"This is not guesswork," he told me. He says his campaign has checked and double-checked the signatures.

Certainly, it's no guesswork that Holtzman will not go gentle into that good night. What I mean is, when it's 2 a.m., you're still going need at least two extra-large bouncers.

But upon hearing that Holtzman had failed to qualify, Beauprez did what any candidate would do - he declared victory and hoped it would take. Beauprez desperately wants to rid himself of Holtzman, who has consistently pulled him to the right, not unlike a small, possibly rabid dog at your pants cuff.

On Friday morning, the anti-Holtzman types in the Republican Party were downright giddy about the news.

I reached Republican consultant Katy Atkinson, who apologized for laughing at someone's misfortune.

"I have to make an exception," she said when it comes to Holtzman. Of course, she's backing Beauprez.

You can understand the laughter. This is a guy who's rich enough to pay for the campaign out of his own pocket, but who can't pay for enough signatures - not even at 7 bucks for each one collected - to get on the ballot. Come on. I sell my autograph for 25 cents on eBay.

It became the campaign that couldn't count straight. What a humiliating way to go, on top of a few other humiliations. Holtzman lost his campaign manager for lying - which any campaign manager worth the title would put on his resumé. Holtzman was just fined for campaign chicanery. He fell 2 percentage points short at the assembly. We haven't heard from the president of Poland in months.

Who is running the show?

"He's been running like a rock star with no band behind him," said Colorado State University political-science professor John Straayer.

By afternoon, Beauprez's bandmates were trying to push Holtzman off the stage. Republican state Chairman Bob Martinez, obviously not a quick learner, sent out yet another press release saying Holtzman should quit the race.

The governor told 9News, "Marc has said at the convention just two weeks ago that I am his friend and mentor. And as his friend and mentor, I would suggest it's time to . . . move toward the general election."

Of course, Owens is Holtzman's ex-best friend. You go to Holtzman's office. You see a book by Ronald Reagan - clearly not his ex-hero - on the table. You sit down as Holtzman tells his story.

Holtzman tells you his petition campaign was "flawless." You look around to see if anyone else's jaw is dropping.

He says his troubles are "connected" and pins them to a party establishment determined to keep him off the ballot. And he just hopes that Gigi Dennis, a Beauprez supporter, is not part of that cabal.

He then tells you how he's going to win. Every belief system has its creation myth. And Holtzman's goes back to the 1980 U.S. Senate race and Mary Estill Buchanan, who tried to petition her way into the Republican primary.

Her petitions, naturally, were denied. She had to go to court to get on the ballot - and she won. Then - yes - she won the primary and almost beat Gary Hart.

You listen to Holtzman, and you understand he thinks this latest, uh, setback could actually be a good thing. He's got a scenario: He gets on the ballot. He beats the establishment. He's the rebel, suddenly with a cause. You've seen the movie. I don't want to tell him the ending.

And as I listen to his story, I wonder if it's remotely possible.

I try the Kool-Aid. It goes down easier than you think.