Littwin: Oh, lord, execs see God's hand waving the Rockies home

By Mike Littwin, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)

Published June 1, 2006 at midnight

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"You look at things that have happened to us this year . . . You look at some of the games we're winning. Those aren't just a coincidence. God has definitely had a hand in this."

- Colorado Rockies General Manager Dan O'Dowd

For those wondering how the perennial loser Rockies have put together a winning record as we head into June, there's your explanation.

Turns out, the Rockies' semi-fast start this year is a miracle.

According to a USA Today report, Rockies executives are crediting their early- season success to the hand of God. No one said, however, whether it was his glove hand.

The Rockies said they were putting the team together guided by Christian values. I'm not sure what religion has to do with sports, unless the Rockies are instructing their scouts to look for players who can run, throw, hit and kneel.

And I admit, when reading all this, I was more than a little skeptical.

I know as a fan that the power of prayer has its limits. I can prove it in three words: New York Yankees.

Maybe you know the story of the Brooklyn priest telling his congregation during the 1952 Dodgers-Yankees World Series: "It's too hot for a sermon. Just go home and say a prayer for Gil Hodges."

Just recently, a study showed that group prayer has no apparent impact on healing the ill. I knew this from lessons my father taught me in childhood. Those good Brooklyn people went home to pray. And still, Hodges, the Dodgers first baseman, went 0-for-21 in the series, which the Dodgers lost in seven games.

As I said, I'm a little skeptical. Yes, the Rockies are doing surprisingly well. On the other hand, they are in third place in the National League West.

Third place is not exactly burning-bush territory. A miracle is finding Jimmy Hoffa or the Democrats winning back the House. A miracle - ask Al "Do you believe in miracles?" Michaels - is not finishing third.

And wait: Even as I write this, the Rockies have just lost to San Diego and slipped into fourth place.

I can think of two possibilities if God really has decided to pitch in for the Rockies and this is the best they can do. But I hesitate to bring up either because they could shake a reader's faith.

One: It could be that Woody Allen was right. Allen once said that if there is a God, the "worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

Or there's this: That not even divine intervention could help Rockies to win the pennant. My guess is that God is a little too busy for the Rockies. The play Damn Yankees advises if you're looking for some Faustian help, try the devil.

There is another possibility: The Rockies players really aren't any more blessed, or any more religious, than anyone else's players.

Every baseball team has a Sunday chapel. Most have prayer groups. Some players read the Bible. Some read the stock pages. All of them watch ESPN's SportsCenter. What does it all mean?

Back in my sportswriter days, there was a famous player who was also a famously upstanding married citizen, whom I saw in a bar one night - where he was signing a glossy photo of himself for a particularly lithesome fan. Another reporter with me walked up to the player, grabbed the photo, ripped it in two and then ordered a drink. There's a guy with family values.

My favorite baseball-religion story goes back to the '70s, when Baltimore Orioles outfielder Pat Kelly went into manager Earl Weaver's office one day to tell him he needed to "walk with the Lord." Weaver replied that he'd rather have Kelly "walk with the bases loaded."

There's religion, of course, and there's religion. According to USA Today, the Rockies' turn toward religious values came when co-owner Charlie Monfort turned religious after his latest DUI conviction. And that belief was tested when Denny Neagle cruised Colfax for his infamous date with a $40 hooker.

Like many of you, I was shocked that a guy making $6 million a year could afford only a $40 hooker. But for the Rockies, the lesson was they needed players with character - as opposed to, say, a few Ruthian-like characters - to turn the franchise around. Of course, that was only part of the plan. Since the owners refused to spend the money to make the team competitive, they had no choice but to turn to prayer.

Personally, my faith in matters baseball has waned. The trinity of Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds has done it. You used to believe in baseball numbers. They were sacred. Now, the number that matters is on a syringe.

When I get sufficiently depressed, I turn on the best baseball movie ever made, Bull Durham. The movie is about baseball as religion - and Susan Sarandon in a bathtub. The otherwise objectionable Kevin Costner gives the ultimate sermon (only part of which can be printed here):

"Well, I believe in the soul . . . the small of a woman's back, the hanging curveball, high fiber, good scotch . . . I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

Amen.

littwinm@RockyMountainNews.com

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