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The thrill is long gone

Once full of surprises, MTV's Video Music Awards now have all the edge of a butter knife

Mark Brown, Rocky Mountain News

Published September 8, 2007 at midnight

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Desperate times call for desperate measures. And it's hard to figure just who is more desperate.

Is it Britney Spears, who has tarnished her personal reputation seemingly beyond repair, not to mention a "musical legacy" that's as deep and sophisticated as the title of her new single, Gimme More?

Or is it the MTV Video Music Awards, the very name of which has become an oxymoron. MTV is associated with music videos the way Hummers are associated with saving the planet.

What used to be truly must-see TV with 12 million viewers has turned into an embarrassment, both creatively and as a force in music. According to the Nielsen ratings, 5.7 million people watched the VMAs last year, a drop of 28 percent from the year before and a 45 percent drop over two years.

Which is apparently why they think the head-shaving, baby-dropping, rehab-fleeing, car seat-abusing, umbrella-smashing, crotch-flashing Spears is exactly the sort of "talent" needed to return it to its glory-days edginess and ratings. So the two are combining in Las Vegas on Sunday for an event likely to disappoint and possibly add a couple of more pages to Spears' child-protective-services folder.

With its slate of lame reality programming (including besmirching Denver's good name with an impossibly lame season of The Real World filmed here), MTV lost its cachet long ago. What was once a music powerhouse is a joke. You don't go to MTV for music videos anymore - that area has been taken over by MySpace and YouTube.

Speaking of jokes - ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Britney Spears! Her new single is a croaking, plodding dance tune that tries to be edgy with the occasional erotic moan and expletive. Hey, Britney: You only kissed Madonna; her soul didn't magically enter your body - however much soul she had left to start with.

A show that in the past nabbed everyone from Prince to Pearl Jam for high-energy, groundbreaking performances can't do better this time around than what will presumably be lip-synced performances by 50 Cent, Cee-Lo and the like. Why the Foo Fighters - the only act on the list with impeccable integrity - are involved is a mystery.

The VMAs used to be a loose celebration where everyone showed up. It was Kurt Cobain, Eddie Vedder, The Edge, Neil Young, Courtney Love and R.E.M. all wandering around backstage. It's the place where Axl Rose famously ordered Cobain to "Shut your b---- up" and was further enraged when Cobain said to Love, "Shut up, b----!" and everyone laughed in Rose's face. That was the same year when Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic knocked himself out by throwing his bass in the air at the end of Lithium and inadvertently catching it with his head. See it at: ?v=5VBa7B3jHMo.

Once its greatest strength was keeping a secret. That's why it was a riot when Pee- wee Herman, soon after his arrest on lewdness charges had fueled a storm of comedy on late-night TV, opened the 1991 VMAs by asking, "Heard any good jokes lately?"

Or when Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley trotted out for the most awkward kiss in the history of television. Rather than show Jackson as manly, it made you think that every rumor you'd ever heard was probably true ( watch?v=cejHD79MonA).

But that was many years and a lot of squandered credibility ago. The closest thing to a surprise this year was Amy Winehouse's dropping out after what appears to have been a very bad series of chemical choices on her part.

These days MTV doesn't rely on such creativity. It's compelled to leak the "edgy" and "controversial" plans it has in mind.

Everyone knew Madonna and Spears would lock lips in 2003 (with the third party in the kiss, Christina Aguilera, being largely forgotten). Britney's "surprise" gig on Sunday (reportedly with illusionist Criss Angel) is the poorest-kept secret in music. The real surprise is if she doesn't show - which, given her recent history, isn't so unlikely.

Video Music Awards

• When and where: 7 p.m. Sunday, MTV; live from the Palms Casino in Las Vegas

• Confirmed performers:Britney Spears, Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, Foo Fighters, Fall Out Boy, 50 Cent, Nelly Furtado, Kanye West, Akon



Mark Brown is the pop music writer. 303-954-2674 or