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New 'Dog,' same tired tricks

Friendly and familiar, remake of comedy fails to find real laughs

Robert Denerstein, Rocky Mountain News

Published March 10, 2006 at midnight

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Tim Allen may not emote on a level with Al Pacino, but he sure knows how to fetch.

I know this because Allen stars in The Shaggy Dog, a comedy about a lawyer who sometimes turns into a sheepdog. The Shaggy Dog - a spiffed-up remake of a 1959 comedy starring Fred MacMurray - is another cheerfully dopey comedy designed mainly for young audiences.

I don't know if it's a compliment, but Allen - with some computerized assistance - makes a convincing enough man en route to becoming a sheepdog. He scratches. He pants. He growls at his courtroom opponents.

Here's the set-up: A 300-year-old sheepdog lives in Tibet, where he seems to be a fixture at a Buddhist monastery. Any time an amazing creature is introduced in a movie, you can be sure a corporation wants to exploit it. Sure enough, corporate meanies capture the dog and bring it to Los Angeles.

There, a conniving scientist (Robert Downey Jr. as Dr. Kozak) tries to discover the secret to extending life. If a dog can live for 300 years, why not humans? Downey's Dr. Kozak promises his very ill boss (Philip Baker Hall) that he'll cure his sickness.

Dr. Kozak's lab work results in a variety of mutant creatures that are meant to be amusing but that can be slightly unnerving: a cobra with a furry dog's tail or a chubby frog with a dog's head, for example. I half wondered whether David Lynch might have served as a secret consultant on the movie, which also has an animal-rights twist.

Allen's daughter (Zena Grey) and her high-school cohorts are protesting work at the lab. Her activities embarrass her father, who's in the midst of prosecuting her social-studies teacher, a young man who faces trumped-up charges that he tried to burn down the lab.

On top of that, Dad doesn't like dogs. Dad's upset when the sheepdog, who escapes from his lab prison, winds up with his kids (Grey and Spencer Breslin). Sure enough, the creature bites Dad, thus creating the genetic chaos that leads to Dad's shape-shifting torments.

Sometimes Dad is a human with doggie tendencies. At other times, he's a full-fledged sheepdog. During these episodes, Allen provides a voice-over narration that tells us what he's thinking. Of course, everyone in the movie hears only barking.

It doesn't take a whole lot of imagination to guess how the jokes will run: Dad begins eating cereal by sticking his head in the bowl. And, yes, jokes about butt-sniffing abound.

Don't worry, though, a message tempers all the butt-sniffing. Mom (Kristin Davis of Sex and the City) frets that her workaholic husband spends too much time away from their kids. That means the movie aims to teach Dad a lesson: Family trumps the office.

There are some surprises here, mostly involving casting. The movie is so far below Downey's capabilities that you wonder whether he might not be paying off some karmic debt. The same goes for Danny Glover, who's stuck in a nothing role as Allen's boss. Jane Curtin plays a judge.

No one's going to argue with a movie that underscores the importance of paying attention to kids, but for me at least, the sight of Allen running around on all fours failed to unleash howls of laughter.

Robert Denerstein is the film critic. or 303-892-5424