Pie-ty a no-show in church fracas

Springs faithful concerned about security at services

Jean Torkelson, Rocky Mountain News

Published May 8, 2007 at midnight

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The priest was in the middle of his sermon Sunday when Christina Crippen noticed a man sidle in the door of her Colorado Springs church, holding a large pinstriped box.

"I was subconsciously watching him," the 17-year-old choir member recalled Monday, "and I was thinking, 'Hmmm, I wonder what he's doing?' "

Seconds later, she found out.

The intruder stepped within a few feet of the pulpit and hurled a pie at the Rev. Don Armstrong, the beleaguered pastor of Grace Church and St. Stephen's Parish - a man not unfamiliar these days with being the target of attention.

Armstrong ducked behind the pulpit. The pie sailed over his head and landed within inches of the choir stall where Crippen and the choir watched aghast.

"See, I'm quick, aren't I?" Armstrong cracked, according to Crippen and several other accounts.

Not so lucky were several choir members who got sprayed by the disintegrating confection, possibly a banana cream pie.

"It was very creamy and had a graham cracker crust," Crippen said. "It splattered all across the floor, crumbs all the way to the communion rail."

The thrower was identified by police as Marcus Hyde, 18. He faces potential misdemeanor charges of harassment, trespassing, criminal mischief and disrupting a lawful assembly, Colorado Springs police Sgt. Vince Niski said.

Hyde could not be reached Monday for comment. A police report said the suspect "said that he was passing judgment on Father Armstrong for his fellow parishioners."

Armstrong is being threatened by the Episcopal Diocese of Colorado with civil and criminal lawsuits involving allegations that he misused hundreds of thousands of dollars of church money. Armstrong says he's innocent and claims the diocese is persecuting him for his conservative views.

Last month, he and a majority of the church vestry, or board of directors, seceded from the Episcopal Church in the U.S. to join a conservative branch of the worldwide Anglican Communion.

The move has split the congregation. Those who side with Armstrong are worshiping at Grace Church; those who don't are at another location. The diocese vows to reclaim the church.

After the pie throwing, several parishioners chased the suspect and held him until police arrived.

Meanwhile, back at the church, a refined pandemonium erupted.

"People were crying out, 'What the . . . ' and, 'Get him!' " Crippen said.

While the pie prank turned out to be more tasteless than harmful, church members are concerned.

"I'm worried there might be something next time worse than a pie," said Schuyler Crippen, 12, another choir member and brother of Christina.

That possibility weighs on the church's vestry board, too. Today they will discuss security options during their regular board meeting, said the vestry's head, Jon Wroblewski.

In the past few months the church has been the target of several acts of graffiti vandalism, including the spray-painting of the word REVOLT in several places on the church's historic stone brick.

The church has asked police to step up patrols, Wroblewski said. But it's hard, if not impossible, to anticipate what might happen during a worship service.

"There's sort of a dichotomy we face, that we can't go locking up the church during services, obviously," Wroblewski said. "And we certainly don't want security guards around during services."

Here's pie in your eye

Public figures who have been "pied" by activists:

• October 2004: Writer and pundit Ann Coulter ducks and misses getting hit by a pie at the University of Arizona in Tucson. Two members of "Al Pieda" say they were protesting her conservative views.

• June 2001: Designer Calvin Klein gets hit with pieces of four tofu pies as he and designer Karl Lagerfeld walk the red carpet at Lincoln Center in New York City. Six members of PETA were arrested for protesting the use of fur by Lagerfeld (Klein got caught in the crossfire).

• July 1998: Actor Sylvester Stallone is hit by a pie while attending the opening of Planet Hollywood in Montreal. A group called Les Entartistes, which likes to embarrass celebrities and politicians, targeted Stallone for being Stallone.

torkelsonj@RockyMountainNews.com The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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