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Families forge bond from grief

Two years after shooting, Rubios, Venzors embrace

Julie Poppen, Rocky Mountain News

Published February 19, 2007 at midnight

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As Michelle Venzor's life became harder, so did her heart.

That's when the 37-year-old mother of two girls injured in a drive-by shooting as they slept in their beds in August 2005 decided it was time to face the "enemy."

"I was at a point in my life where many things have gone wrong . . . and I wanted to fix things," Venzor said Sunday. "It wasn't fair to me to show my children that you hold a grudge until the day you die. Forgiveness is part of life. You've got to forgive and move on."

When she actually met the parents of Andreas "Andy" Rubio, 22, who was sentenced to 180 years in prison in connection with the shooting, she found they were not evil. Rather, the Rubios were wonderful people who had a son who made a bad decision with tragic consequences for two families.

The AK-47 bullets that tore through Venzor's west Denver home, ripping apart her then- 12-year-old daughter's hand and blazing through her then- 6-year-old daughter's thigh, had bound the two families. Now, Venzor wanted that bond to lead to forgiveness.

The Rubios had pushed for the meeting since the day of the shooting.

"We wanted to speak with the family and (tell) them we wanted to have peace and forgiveness among one another, that it was an accident, a mistake, on my son's part," Cyndi Rubio said Sunday.

Finally, on Super Bowl Sunday, Venzor and daughters Kenia, 14, and Celine, 8, met the Rubios. They shared a lunch of beef stroganoff at the home of Mark Lopez, pastor of Westside Christian Fellowship, who coordinated the meeting. They told stories of their families, they hugged, they cried.

It was a profound experience for both.

"When the family walked in it was a feeling like I knew them from a long time ago," Rubio said. "I had a feeling of happiness. We hugged. There were tears, joy, sadness, pain, a lot of mixed emotions."

The two mothers are founding a chapter of Mothers Against Gang Violence in Denver. By forging more relationships between the families of victims and of perpetrators, Venzor believes the cycle of violence in gang-plagued neighborhoods could end.

At a church service Sunday, Lopez announced plans for the organization. Kenia and Celine also spoke to parishioners at Arvada Covenant Church.

Venzor said she began to truly heal after telling the Rubios she forgave them and their son.

"My family got to see the real people they are, that they did care about me," Kenia said.

Within the next few weeks, the Venzors plan to visit Andy Rubio in prison.

"I want to let Andy know he's in my prayers every day," Michelle Venzor said. "I want him to know we're bonded. Whether we like it or not, the bond will be there forever."

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