Pastor gets sympathy from gay community

Its members say feelings of isolation, shame familiar

Myung Oak Kim, Rocky Mountain News

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Cheryl Meyer left New Life Church in the mid-1990s to join a gay church in Colorado Springs. Now legally married to a woman and living in Toronto, Meyer said she's been aggravated by Pastor Ted Haggard's recent anti-gay preaching.

But when she found out about Haggard's downfall amid allegations that he had sex with a former gay male escort, the 50-year-old businesswoman was filled with sadness.

Meyer is one of many involved on both sides of the gay rights movement who have, for the most part, put aside their political views in connection with the Haggard scandal. Instead, the overwhelming reaction is sympathy.

"The first thing that I felt was just pain for him and his family," said Meyer, her voice cracking. "I just know they're in pain and I know they're in turmoil."

Meyer remembers Haggard as a "very compassionate, wonderful person" and said she's been praying since Saturday for the former New Life pastor. She said it doesn't matter what Haggard did, only that he is going through a terrible time.

Frank Whitworth, a longtime Colorado Springs gay activist, has debated Haggard and contends that the preacher has hurt the gay community with his support of anti-gay government policies.

Nevertheless, Whitworth said he feels compassion for the preacher.

"It's got to be devastating," Whitworth said.

For gays and lesbians, the process of accepting one's homosexuality can be a lengthy, painful experience, he added.

"We know what it's like to feel isolated and shame in a closet of fear," said the Rev. Nori Rost, a Colorado Springs pastor who is a lesbian.

Rost has protested outside Haggard's church complex and debated with him. But last week, Rost reached out to Haggard.

She sent him an e-mail Thursday saying she was praying for him and his family and offering an ear if he wanted to talk. She had not heard from him as of Monday night.

"When you're someone like Ted Haggard, I can't even imagine how hard it must have been over these past few years and how lonely he must have felt," she said.

Focus on the Family founder James Dobson said during a radio show Monday that he's "been weepy all day," thinking about Haggard's admission to "moral failure."

"This is a tragedy," he said. "And the cause of Christ has been wounded by it."

Dobson is part of the panel that will decide Haggard's discipline and restoration.

"There's forgiveness, even for the most egregious sins," he said on the show.

Jim Chapman, of the Rocky Mountain Family Council, a local Christian organization, said he's heartbroken over Haggard's downfall.

"This is a tragedy for everybody," Chapman said.

Despite the turmoil, Chapman said he thinks it was good that it happened.

"I think light chases away darkness. In the long run, this is going to be better for him and his family."