Writings offer new glimpse of Columbine killers

Journal kept by Harris' dad documented son's troubles

Kevin Vaughan, Jeff Kass And Charley Able, Rocky Mountain News

Friday, July 7, 2006

Two years and a day before the Columbine High School attack, Wayne Harris filled most of a page in a notebook detailing his son Eric's disputes, expressing concern that he could be "accused everytime something supposedly happens."

The Harris family felt "victimized," too, the father wrote.

The journal detailing Eric Harris' problems, which includes entries both cryptic and heartfelt, was made public Thursday. It was among 946 pages of documents released in the latest, and perhaps the last, legal fight over records related to the April 20, 1999, killings.

The documents contained a number of new revelations:

• Eric Harris' fellow killer, Dylan Klebold, expressed suicidal thoughts more than two years before the Columbine attack.

"I don't fit in here," Klebold scrawled in his journal on March 31, 1997. "Thinking of suicide gives me hope, that I'll be in my place wherever I go after this life - that I'll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe - my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE."

• Harris thought as early as December 1997 that it would be pretty easy to bring a gun to school. "Students who bring guns to school are hardly ever detected," Harris wrote in a Dec. 10, 1997, paper. "This is shocking to most parents and even other students since it is just as easy to bring a loaded handgun to school as it is to bring a calculator."

• The two killers wrote extensively about their plans for the attack - at one point even coming up with a crude budget for the supplies they would need. A ledger contained among the documents includes two lists, one under the word have and another under the word need. Under have, Harris wrote a series of numbers, apparently a reference to the money they spent for supplies. Written next to need is "$20 gasoline" and "$200 expenses" and other supplies that were crossed off.

• Klebold wrote in February 1998 about having "been caught in most of my crimes." When he detailed several, including a reference to "pipe bombs," it raised new questions about what his parents knew about his and Harris' actions before the Columbine shootings.

But Gary Lozow, an attorney for Tom and Sue Klebold, said it was "absolutely, unequivocally clear that these parents never knew anything about pipe bombs, period."

"There's never a time," he added, "when the Klebolds had any idea of anything like their son having a pipe bomb - ever - until they were told by the sheriffs."

• Harris and Klebold were fascinated with the Nazis, authoring papers on them and keeping a list of acronyms and jargon associated with Adolf Hitler's reign in Germany.

• The two made numerous references to their impending attack in the day planners they used at school.

A section of a calendar kept by Harris, for example, included the notation "20th - 11:10" written on it, apparently a reference to the time they planned to begin the attack. Then, below it, on a series of days, are various notations such as "Get nails, Get gas cans, Get duffel bags, Get propanes, fill my clips."

Many of the killers' writings echoed others that already had been made public - including violent rants Harris posted on the Internet as early as 1997. But they did provide the fullest picture yet of Klebold's private feelings.

And it was the journal kept by Wayne Harris that had been largely shrouded in secrecy.

'Always someone else's fault'

Harris began the journal in February 1997, writing extensively about a number of problems his son encountered, including troubles at school and an arrest for a van break-in. Many of the early entries, including one dated April 19, 1997, deal with the accusation that Eric Harris had cracked a friend's car windshield with a chunk of ice.

The friend was Brooks Brown, and the windshield dispute marked the beginning of long-running tensions between the two families.

"We don't want to be accused everytime something supposedly happens," Wayne Harris wrote. "Eric learned his lesson."

Sometime later, Wayne Harris crossed out the words "learned his lesson" and wrote "is not at fault."

On the same page, Wayne Harris also wrote, "Brooks Brown is out to get Eric."

Brian Rohrbough, whose son son, Dan, was murdered on a sidewalk at Columbine, said the journal provided insight into the way Wayne Harris and his wife, Kathy, dealt with their son.

"At every time their kids were in trouble, it was always someone else's fault," Rohrbough said. "The fact this journal exists shows they knew how dangerous their son was, but they blamed other people and, ultimately, my son's dead because of it."

C. Michael Montgomery, an attorney for the Harris family, did not return a message left at his office Thursday.

Randy Brown, who along with his wife, Judy, brought Harris and Klebold to the attention of authorities in both 1997 and 1998, said he was also struck by what he saw as a shifting of blame in the journal.

"That was what we've always thought - he didn't believe us when we told him his son was the problem," Brown said. "I think that's part of why all this information needs to be released. There are lessons here for parents."

Lozow said the Klebolds would have no comment on their son's writings - or the reaction to them.

"People are going to deduce whatever they want to deduce from these releases," he said.

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, both seniors at Columbine, attacked their school with guns and bombs, murdering a dozen students and a teacher and wounding more than 20 others before ending their lives in the school library.

It was the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history, and almost from the beginning it spawned controversy, a series of investigations, lawsuits and a long-running battle for information.

Thursday's release came after a four-year legal fight that began when The Denver Post requested access to materials taken from the homes of the killers during the Columbine investigation.

The Colorado Supreme Court last year ruled that writings and tapes taken from the Harris and Klebold homes were subject to release under state open-records laws. The court directed Jefferson County Sheriff Ted Mink to consider a number of factors.

Mink, after a months-long process, concluded that he should release virtually all of the documents confiscated from the homes. But he also decided against releasing videotapes and an audiotape left behind by the killers.

After nobody challenged his decision, his office released the documents early Thursday morning.

Notebook found in home

The journal, the existence of which was first reported by the Rocky Mountain News in January 2004, had never been seen publicly before Thursday. And although state investigators made two cryptic references to it in a 2004 report on law enforcement contacts with the killers, its contents had never been discussed publicly in any detail.

Discovered by investigators in a desk on the main floor of the Harris home, it was simply described as a "green steno notebook" in the initial police reports and classified as evidence item No. 201.

The first entry, dated Feb. 28, 1997, details a phone call from Randy Brown about the cracked windshield - and his wife's confrontation about it with Eric.

On the first line, he wrote "believing Eric vs. wife" and later on the page wrote the words "idle threats of physical harm, property damage, overreaction to minor incident."

The next entry, dated March 3, 1997, details a phone call Wayne Harris placed to Columbine High Dean Craig Place, who apparently intervened in the dispute.

In the entry, Wayne Harris wrote, "Very concerned about alcohol acquisition, would get police involved if necessary."

Below that, he wrote, "Talked to Eric: Basically - finished."

Bill Kowalski, an attorney representing Jefferson County Schools, said the issue may have been quite minor.

"This could be no bigger a deal than Place being aware there's some tension between these guys and Place saying, 'Cool it,' " Kowalski said. "It was certainly no indication anyone was going to get a gun and shoot someone two years later."

Other journal entries detail Wayne Harris' calls to other parents to talk about vandalism attributed to his son, including an incident in which someone's home was toilet-papered and its door locks filled with glue.

In two separate entries detailing his discussions with the Browns about the windshield, Wayne Harris wrote, "We feel victimized, too."

And two entries about Brooks Brown use the words "manipulative" and "con artist."

Finally, the journal details a number of discussions Wayne Harris had with authorities, attorneys and psychologists after his son and Klebold were arrested in January 1998 for breaking into a van.

In notes from one discussion with an attorney, Wayne Harris wrote, "bad choice to tell all that evening" and "be careful what we said."

Concern about son's future

The last entry in the journal was dated April 21, 1998, when Eric had an orientation in the county's juvenile diversion program, which he and Klebold were sentenced to enter for the van break-in.

It was not clear why the journal ended at that point.

"You have everything that we have," said Jefferson County sheriff's spokeswoman Jacki Kelley.

In addition to the journal, one other document released on Thursday provided a glimpse of Wayne Harris' reaction to his son's problems.

On Oct. 2, 1997, Peter Horvath, another dean at Columbine, suspended Harris and Klebold and another student after they hacked into a school computer, obtained locker combinations and broke into several.

The "office referral" filled out by Horvath that day was among the documents taken from the Harris home by investigators. It included the decision to suspend Harris for three days.

At the bottom, Wayne Harris detailed a phone call he placed to Horvath a day later. "What will be on Eric's records?" he wrote.

Then, the answer: "In-house only because police were not involved. Destroyed upon graduation."

Columbine documents

Jefferson County authorities on Thursday released 946 pages of evidence related to the 1999 shootings at Columbine High School.

What's new in the documents?

• Virtually all of Dylan Klebold's diary writings.

• A journal kept by Eric Harris' father, Wayne, detailing problems with other students, the school and the law. Though the existence of the journal was reported more than two years ago, the exact contents had never been made public.

• A school disciplinary report for Eric Harris.

• School papers written by Eric Harris about the Nazis, school shootings and gun control, and various news articles he reviewed.

• What appears to be the full text of Eric Harris' diary.

• Documents showing how extensively Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold planned some aspects of their attack.

What's old in the documents?

• Some excerpts of Eric Harris' diary have already been made public.

• Some school essays, including one in which Klebold describes a gruesome killing by a man in a trench coat and one about Charles Manson.

• Some drawings and day planner entries created by both Eric Harris and Klebold.

• A letter of apology and class assignment Eric Harris wrote after he and Klebold were arrested in a January 1998 van break-in.

Why are these documents important?

• They provide a fuller picture of what the two killers were thinking in the two-year period before the Columbine attack.

• They provide a glimpse of Wayne Harris' dealings with his son.

• They show the extent of the planning Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold engaged in - including documents in which they outlined a crude budget for the attack.

What information has yet to be released?

• Videotapes made by the two killers and an audiotape - known as the "Nixon" tape - made by Eric Harris.

What's next?

• It's possible there could be a legal challenge to Jefferson County Sheriff Ted Mink's decision not to release the videotapes and audiotape.

• A ruling is pending on an order by a federal magistrate to destroy records in a now-dismissed Columbine lawsuit. Among the records are depositions of Wayne and Kathy Harris and Tom and Sue Klebold.

Excerpts from journals and diaries

released Thursday by the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office

• "I am a gun. A wildy (sic) 45 semiautomatic. I am a god. I kill people. I was never made for hunting, just to kill humans when someone needs to die, I kill them. There was this bald guy once. He was gay and arrogant and superficial and had a false sense of power. I blew off half his head with one shot. I am god. He died."

Eric Harris, in an undated piece of writing on a page of notebook paper

• "I predict that myself, as well as everyone (sic) other senior, will have more fun this school year than any others in the past. I will have more freedom, with the same basic guidelines, meaning more time for less responsibilities."

Dylan Klebold, in a paper titled Senior Predictions, dated Aug. 20, 1998

• "If you read all your history the Nazis came up with a 'final solution' to the Jewish problem. . . . kill them all. Well in case you haven't figured it out yet, I say, 'KILL MANKIND.' "

Harris, in an entry in his diary dated June 12, 1998

• "Insomnia is bliss

"happiness is ambition

"desolation is knowledge

"pain is acceptance

"despair is anger

"denial is helpless

"martyrism is hope for others

"advantages taken are causes of martyrism

"revenge is sorrow

"death is a reprieve

"life is a punishment

"others' achievements are tormentations

"people are alike

"I am different."

Klebold, in an undated piece

• "I just hope she likes me as much as I love her. I think of her every second of every day. I want to be with her. I imagine me and her doing things together, the sound of her laugh, I picture her face. I love her."

Klebold, in an undated piece of writing entitled My 1st Love???

• "My love for a computer game called Doom. Doom is such a big part of my life and no one I know can recreate environments in Doom as good as me. I know almost anything there is to know about that game, so I believe that separates me from the rest of the world."

Harris, in a handwritten essay titled 25 things that make me different, dated Aug. 24, 1998

• "Prove to us your desire to succeed by succeeding, showing good judgement, giving extra effort, pursuing interests . . . . seeking help, advice"

Wayne Harris, in an entry in a journal detailing his son's problems with friends and the law.

• "I am a nice guy who hates when people open their pop can just a little . . . I see myself flying above everyone else . . . I worry that I will have a fire in my house . . . I cry when I see or hear a dog die . . ."

Eric Harris, in a school assignment titled I am Poem, dated Oct. 30, 1995

• "Since existence has known, the 'fight' between good and evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things from bad, bad things become good, the 'people' on the earth see it as a battle they can win. Ha. F------ morons. If people looked at history, they would see what happens. I think too much, I understand, I am GOD compared to some of those inexistable brainless zombies."

Klebold, in an undated diary entry

• "My doctor wants to put me on medication to stop thinking about so many things and to stop getting angry. Well, I think that anyone who doesn't think like me is just bulls------- themselves."

Harris, in a diary entry dated April 21, 1998

• "If people would give me more compliments all of this might still be avoidable . . . but probably not."

Harris, in a diary entry dated Nov. 17, 1998

vaughank@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-892-5019