Bringing victims, abusers together

Published February 9, 2005 at midnight

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Story by Lou Kilzer

Photos by Linda McConnell

A woman tells how her sister and her sister's children were gunned down by a jealous husband.

A 15-year-old girl tells how her abusive, alcoholic father destroyed her family before dying drunk.

These are the stories that domestic violence offenders hear as part of a program created by Boulder County probation officer Connie Buxenbaum.

The program is Colorado's closest thing to restorative justice used in domestic violence cases.

It's nothing like the Minnesota model, which involves a "circle" of community members who get to know and advise a domestic violence offender and his partner before sentencing the offender.

Tragedy recalled: Gina Rogers, of Longmont, shows a picture of her sister, Anne Formosa, who was killed along with two of her three children by her ex-husband, their father, Ricky Walters. Rogers is among those affected by domestic violence who share their stories with offenders at "empathy panels" in Boulder County.

In Buxenbaum's "empathy panels," victims and offenders sit down in the same room — but not victim and offender in the same case. There is no open discussion.

Buxenbaum considers the Boulder program a mild attempt at restorative justice, but she said she is cautious about anything more full-fledged because it "can get pretty volatile."

"The company line here, and I agree, is that getting the perpetrator and victim together is not the way to go," she said.

She said she has "seen it all" in 22 years in probation. Abusers come into the system in various stages of denial and excuse-making, telling stories that differ greatly from police reports.

Nothing seemed to budge a stubborn repeat-offense rate of about 30 percent, she said.

Four years ago she began toying with an idea of bringing victims and abusers together. The district attorney's office and some victims' advocates agreed to give it a try.

Every few months, 30 or so convicted offenders visit a courtroom and listen to the stories of four or five unrelated women affected by abuse.

Buxenbaum said no studies have been done to document success, but partipating offenders write reports indicating dramatic effects.

One said he drove around the city for six hours after the presentation, unnerved by the experience.

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