Event celebrates dads' pledge to daughters

'Purity Ball' seeks to honor fathers as family leaders

Jean Torkelson, Rocky Mountain News

Published September 15, 2007 at midnight

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With swords raised and white roses cast at the foot of a cross, daughters and their fathers made a defiant stand Friday against American culture at the annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball at the Broadmoor Hotel.

"Cultural winds are roaring toward our homes," the event's founder, Randy Wilson, told a ballroom filled with young women in ball gowns, fathers in tuxes and curious media from at least four countries overseas. "It's degraded the beauty and value of our daughters and abandoned them."

But the ball, now in its ninth year, was an alternative: "By being here tonight you're creating a place of safety for your daughters,' Wilson said.

The young women, pledging to remain sexually pure, marched on the arms of their fathers ? or father figures, including stepdads and foster dads. Earlier, at dinner, each man pledged "to be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father."

Some travelled to ball

By Friday the message of purity was so well-known that some of the 135 participants came from other states. Along with media ? some bemused and puzzled ? from around the world, including Britain, Finland and Norway.

"It's very different from what we experience in Norway,' said reporter Kim Riseth. "We are very liberal in Norway, and I think readers will be a bit curious. It's definitely very unusual."

Not for the ballgoers. Their founders are Wilson and his wife, Lisa, a Colorado Springs couple with a sense of humor, seven kids and a passion for spreading what the world sees as a radical idea: to live by the kind of traditional values where fathers take the lead role as family protector, sternly quizzing potential sons-in-law and teaching all their kids to wait until marriage for sex ? even for their first kiss.

The Wilsons relish the reaction of one puzzled veteran reporter from New York who told them, "I feel like I'm on another planet."

But the planet is paying attention. Since 1998 (the first dance was held at a different hotel), Purity Balls have spread across the U.S. and to 17 countries.

Wholesome relationship

"It's really a great time for dads to spend with daughters in a pure and Christian way,' said Don Sternitzke, who brought daughters Ashley, 17, and Sarah, 11. So many things today aren't good for the family," added the 52-year-old engineer and inventor. "This is a wholesome relationship."

To think that, eight years ago, the Broadmoor was so concerned with booking an oddity called the Purity Ball that they required $1,500 to even discuss the idea.

"You want to do what?" Wilson recalled the hotel events planner saying.

Despite the Purity name, the media often gets the message wrong, says the family, which recently gathered on their back deck for the umpteenth media interview. They had been recently roused by a British radio show at 2:30 a.m., and a crew from the Tyra Banks show taped the ball Friday. The five kids, four daughters and one son, ranging in age from 5 to 19, still live at home and listen nearby, unafraid to contribute.

The ball is not about daughters "pledging" their virginity to their fathers ? "it's a call for fathers to live lives of purity for their daughters," Randy Wilson said. "Looking around, we didn't see anything in the culture to celebrate the father-daughter relationship."

When the father ? or significant protector male in a girl's life ? pledges to cherish the young women in their care, it follows she will value herself and remain pure for her husband.

Even in broken homes, "incredible healing takes place," Lisa Wilson said. Stepfathers and foster dads were praised Friday "for showing what a father looks like," Randy Wilson said.

"I'm too valuable to be disposable. And if I was to give my body away before my heart, mind and soul, it would be such a waste," said daughter Jordyn, a stylish beauty who is 18 years old and ? by design ? has never been kissed.

"Purity is freedom for us. It's not restraining," said her equally beautiful ? and unkissed ? sister, 19-year-old Khrystian.

"Believe me, there's no lack of guys coming around," their mother groans good-naturedly.

Academy a catalyst

The catalysts are their church and the nearby Air Force Academy, where the girls meet fellows in group settings and under the careful watch of adults.

Fittingly, given their future work, Lisa and Randy met while they were at Cedarville University in Ohio, working on the school's public relations team. Both were good-looking, charismatic go-getters. Both wanted to do something for God.

After they married in 1982, they noticed huge disconnects in the way American children were being raised.

"We didn't see anything in the culture to celebrate the father- daughter relationship," said Randy, an intense, keen-eyed 49-year-old with a telegenic resemblance to John Walsh of America's Most Wanted. As a matter of fact, what Walsh did to promote the plight of missing children, Wilson said he would like to do to promote family values and sexual purity.

'Intentional parenting'

The Wilsons call it "intentional parenting," being involved in every aspect of their children's lives, including home-schooling. Rather than choose to follow the culture, (they don't even have cable TV), "we chose relationship," said Lisa, an ebullient honey- blonde with a quick wit. "Raising these children is not a dress rehearsal. This is it."

To skeptics, the Wilsons already point to success. Without benefit of dating or kisses, and with Dad hovering nearby, their eldest daughter, Lauren, met and married an Air Force "catch" ? wing commander Brett Black.

Randy Wilson's reputation as Super Dad preceded him.

"Brett said he was never so frightened as when he met Mr. Wilson," Randy chuckled.

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